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  • 4 Hidden Dangers You Should Ban from Your Home Immediately

    When we think about creating a safe and healthy home for our families, we often focus on the obvious: cleaning products locked away, sharp corners padded, and stair gates securely fastened. But some of the most dangerous elements in our homes are the ones we rarely question. If you care about your family’s long-term health, sleep, and wellbeing, here are four things you should consider removing from your home right now:

    1. Microwave Popcorn Bags – The “Forever Chemical” Concern

    They may be convenient, but most microwave popcorn bags are lined with PFAS (Per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances), also known as “forever chemicals.” These compounds are used to make the bag grease-resistant, but they leach into your food when heated.

    Why it matters: PFAS have been linked to hormone disruption, thyroid issues, weakened immune response, and even certain cancers. They accumulate in the body over time, meaning even occasional exposure can have long-term consequences.

    Safer swap: Make your own popcorn using a stovetop pan or an air-popper with organic kernels.

    2. Scented Candles, Air Fresheners & Plug-Ins – A Hidden Chemical Cocktail

    While they might make your home smell lovely, most commercially available scented candles, plug-ins, and aerosol sprays release toxic chemicals like benzene, formaldehyde, and phthalates into the air.

    Why it matters: These chemicals are linked to respiratory issues, hormone disruption, and even developmental concerns in children. For families with asthma or sensory-sensitive children, they can trigger symptoms without you even realizing.

    Safer swap: Use essential oils in a diffuser, simmer natural herbs like rosemary and lemon peels on the stove, or open windows for natural ventilation.

    3. Bright, Cool-Toned LED Lights at Night – A Sleep Saboteur

    Blue light, commonly emitted by cool-toned LED bulbs, interferes with the body’s production of melatonin — the hormone responsible for sleep.

    Why it matters: Exposure to blue light at night tricks your brain into thinking it’s still daytime, delaying sleep and disrupting the natural circadian rhythm. Poor sleep is linked to everything from anxiety and irritability to obesity and immune system suppression.

    Safer swap: Switch to warm-toned, low-wattage bulbs in bedrooms and use lamps instead of overhead lights in the evening. Consider blue-light filters for screens too.

    4. Antibacterial Soaps & Sprays – Too Clean Can Be Harmful

    We all want clean hands, but antibacterial soaps and surface sprays often contain harsh chemicals like triclosan, a substance now banned in several countries due to its risks.

    Why it matters: Triclosan and similar chemicals can harm your skin’s microbiome, disrupt hormones, and contribute to antibiotic resistance. Plus, they’re unnecessary for everyday hygiene.

    Safer swap: Use regular soap and warm water. For surfaces, choose natural cleaners with vinegar, lemon, or plant-based ingredients.

    Final Thoughts:

    You don’t need to overhaul your entire home in a day, but small changes like these can significantly reduce your family’s exposure to harmful substances. Awareness is the first step, and safer alternatives are often simpler than we think.

    Your home should be your family’s safest place. Let’s keep it that way.

    Need help navigating healthy choices for your neurodiverse family? We write about this (and more) at AskEllie.co.uk — come by and see us.

  • Why Your Child Argues More With You Than Anyone Else: It Might Not Be What You Think

    Why Your Child Argues More With You Than Anyone Else: It Might Not Be What You Think

    If your child saves all their anger, frustration, and backchat for you — you’re not alone. Many parents describe their child as being polite, calm, and cooperative with teachers and friends… but the second they walk through the front door, it’s as if a switch flips. Arguments begin, rules are resisted, and meltdowns erupt over the smallest of things.

    This can be heartbreaking. But here’s the truth:

    Children often release around the person they feel safest with.

    They’ve held it together all day. They’ve masked their discomfort, anxiety, sensory overwhelm, or social fatigue — and when they finally get to you, the one person who accepts them unconditionally, they let it out. Because they can.

    So no, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It often means you’re doing something right. You’ve created a safe space where your child doesn’t have to pretend.

    When It’s More Than Just Letting Off Steam

    While this kind of release is natural, it’s important to be aware of when it might point to something more complex. If your child consistently:

    • Explodes at home but is calm in other settings
    • Becomes highly distressed by everyday requests (like getting dressed or brushing teeth)
    • Appears controlling, avoidant, or has big emotional swings
    • Is socially able but struggles to follow demands from trusted adults

    … then it might be worth looking into whether a deeper need is going unmet.

    Conditions like Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) — a profile within the autism spectrum — often go unnoticed because children appear fine to others. But at home, the mask comes off. Children with PDA can seem oppositional, but they are usually overwhelmed by anxiety and a need to control their environment.

    What Can You Do as a Parent?

    • Don’t take it personally. Their behaviour is communication. They’re showing you where they feel safest — and most overwhelmed.
    • Track patterns. Look for triggers and identify when these episodes happen (e.g., after school, during transitions, around bedtime).
    • Consider seeking professional advice. If your child’s behaviour is significantly impacting daily life, speak to a GP, SENDCo, or explore a neurodevelopmental referral.
    • Build co-regulation strategies. These are things you can do together to calm down — such as going for a walk, having quiet time, or even using humour to break tension.
    • Get support. You are not alone, and you don’t have to figure this out by yourself. There’s a whole community out here who get it.

    Final Thought

    Your child doesn’t behave like this because they don’t love you.
    They behave like this because they trust you.

    And that’s powerful — even if it doesn’t feel like it at 7:30 on a school night when someone’s shouting about the wrong colour plate.

    We’ve written this blog to help you feel less alone and more informed.

    For more like this, visit AskEllie.co.uk

    🧡 You’ve got this.

  • Why SEND Children Are Drawn to Roblox (And How to Support Healthy Play)

    Introduction Roblox has become a go-to platform for many children, especially those with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND). While it may look like just another game to some, Roblox can serve a much deeper purpose in the lives of SEND children. It offers creativity, control, social connection, and even a sense of safety. But it can also come with challenges. In this blog post, we explore both the light and dark sides of Roblox and how parents can support healthy, meaningful engagement.

    Why SEND Children Are Drawn to Roblox SEND children often experience the world in heightened ways. School, social situations, and even home life can be unpredictable and overwhelming. Roblox offers a safe space they can control. Here’s why it appeals:

    1. Creative Freedom: Many SEND children, especially those with autism or PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), feel safe when they have autonomy. Roblox allows them to build their own worlds, make their own rules, and express their interests without adult-imposed structure.
    2. Predictability and Routine: Unlike real-life situations, Roblox worlds follow predictable rules. This makes them less anxiety-inducing for children who struggle with change or surprise.
    3. Social Interaction on Their Terms: For children who find face-to-face interaction difficult, Roblox can be a lifeline. They can make friends, chat, or simply watch others play, all on their own terms and in a less threatening format.
    4. Instant Feedback and Rewards: The game provides instant responses and achievements, which can be extremely motivating for children who struggle with low self-esteem or find traditional learning environments discouraging.

    When Things Go Wrong: Dysregulation, Obsession & Meltdowns While Roblox can provide a lot of benefits, there is a darker side that can emerge, particularly for SEND children who are already struggling to regulate.

    • Meltdowns When It Crashes or Lags: Because so much of their regulation and emotional safety is tied to the game, even a tech glitch can feel catastrophic.
    • Struggles with Losing: Children with demand avoidance or low emotional regulation may find it extremely difficult to cope with in-game failure, rejection, or competition.
    • Breaking the iPad or Device: When dysregulated, some children may throw or damage their devices. This isn’t because they don’t care — it’s often an expression of emotional overload.

    How to Support Healthy Screen Time with Roblox Here are some tips for managing Roblox use in a way that supports your child:

    1. Co-Play Occasionally: Sit with them while they play. Ask them to show you what they’re building or which games they love. This builds connection and helps you understand what Roblox means to them.
    2. Use a Timer or Gentle Transition Tools: Give warnings before it’s time to log off and offer a calming activity afterward. Abruptly stopping play can cause dysregulation.
    3. Validate Their Feelings: If they lose a game or get frustrated, don’t dismiss it. Try saying, “I get that was really upsetting. Want to talk about it or take a break together?”
    4. Create Boundaries Together: Instead of enforcing strict screen time rules, involve them in making a plan. This gives them some control and makes boundaries feel less like punishments.

    Final Thoughts Roblox isn’t just a game for many SEND children — it’s a sanctuary, a social space, and a creative outlet. With the right support and understanding, it can be part of a healthy routine. Just like any tool, it depends on how it’s used. Listen to your child, join them in their world sometimes, and use Roblox as a bridge to connection, not a barrier.

    New Post Now Live: Read our tips on handling screen time at www.askellie.co.uk.

  • ❌ Refused a Specialist School Placement? Here’s What To Do Next.

    When your child has additional needs that simply cannot be met in a mainstream school, hearing that your request for a specialist placement has been refused can feel like the rug has been pulled from beneath you.

    You’re not alone. This happens to hundreds of families—and in many cases, that refusal is unlawful.

    Let’s break it down step by step.

    🧠 Why Specialist Placements Get Refused

    Local Authorities (LAs) often claim:

    • “The mainstream school can meet needs.”
    • “The specialist school is full.”
    • “It’s too expensive.”

    But here’s the truth: the law does not allow a refusal just because of cost or convenience.

    📜 The Legal Bit: Education Act 1996 & Section F

    Under Section 39 of the Children and Families Act 2014, your Local Authority must name your preferred school unless:

    1. It would be unsuitable for the age, ability, aptitude, or SEN of your child, or
    2. It would be incompatible with the efficient education of others or the efficient use of resources.

    That bar is high. The LA must show evidence—not just make vague claims.

    And don’t forget:
    🧾 Section F of your child’s EHCP (Education, Health, and Care Plan) is legally binding. It sets out what provision your child must receive.

    If a mainstream school can’t meet what’s in Section F, then it’s not a lawful placement.

    🚨 What You Can Do If a Specialist Placement is Refused

    1. Appeal to SENDIST (Tribunal)
    You have the right to appeal the named school or setting. You can do this yourself—you don’t need a solicitor.

    2. Request Mediation (Optional)
    You’ll need a mediation certificate to proceed with an appeal. You don’t have to attend mediation, but you can if you think it may help.

    3. Gather Evidence
    Show that:

    • The current school cannot meet Section F.
    • Your child has not progressed or is emotionally distressed.
    • The specialist school has confirmed they can meet need.

    4. Use the Right Wording
    It’s not about what you want—it’s about what your child needs to receive a suitable education.

    💬 A Real Example

    We recently spoke to a parent whose son was out of school for over 6 months. The LA refused a specialist place citing cost, but the child’s EHCP required “high-level therapeutic input in a low-stimulation environment”—something the mainstream school simply didn’t offer. They appealed and won.

    ✊ You’re Not Being Difficult. You’re Advocating.

    It’s exhausting. Confusing. And unfair.

    But your child has a legal right to a suitable education.

    At AskEllie, we’ve walked this road ourselves—and we’ve created free tools to help.

    🧠 Try Ellie now – your AI-powered legal assistant for SEND law
    📄 Find step-by-step guides, example letters, and help navigating appeals

    📌 Key Takeaway

    ❗ A refusal of a specialist placement doesn’t mean the end of the road—it’s just the beginning of your legal challenge.

    Don’t be afraid to stand firm. Know the law. And don’t give up.

  • The Words You Use on a DLA Form Matter More Than You Think

    When applying for Disability Living Allowance (DLA) for your autistic or SEND child, every word you write counts. The way you describe your child’s needs can make the difference between getting the right level of support—or being awarded a lower rate than they deserve.

    We speak to thousands of parents, and this comes up again and again: “I filled in the form honestly, but I still got turned down.” What many don’t realise is that even honest answers can be misinterpreted if the wording isn’t clear, specific, and framed correctly.

    Here are 5 essential tips to help make your application as strong and accurate as possible:

    1. Say “They cannot do this without help.”
    Instead of saying “they struggle,” be clear that your child cannot complete certain tasks without support. The word “struggle” implies they might manage on their own, which could reduce your award.

    2. Say “Most days are difficult. Some are harder.”
    Avoid saying “good and bad days.” This kind of language downplays the daily reality and makes it seem like they’re fine half the time. Consistency matters.

    3. Say “Support is needed every time.”
    Don’t say “they occasionally need help.” Assessors need to understand the frequency and reliability of the support required. Occasional help won’t warrant higher levels of care.

    4. Always include the diagnosis.
    If your child has autism, PDA, ADHD, or another condition, say it clearly. Don’t assume the assessor will know why support is needed. The cause is just as important as the effect.

    5. Don’t forget safety risks.
    Use phrases like: “Without support, they would be at risk of harm.” Leaving out these risks can significantly reduce what your child is entitled to. Be honest and specific.

    Why this matters:

    The DLA form is long and emotionally draining. It can feel like you’re being forced to list everything that’s hard about your child’s life, and that’s tough. But this isn’t about labelling your child negatively—it’s about making sure their real needs are recognised, valued, and supported.

    If you get stuck, don’t worry. You’re not alone.

    We’ve built AskEllie to help families like yours. Head to www.AskEllie.co.uk for free templates, examples, and step-by-step help on DLA, EHCPs and more.

    Save this page. Share it. Come back to it. Because the next time you fill in a DLA form, you’ll want to get it right.

  • Introducing HomeEd Ellie – Your New AI-Powered Learning Companion for Children Out of School

    We know what it feels like.

    You never planned to home educate.
    Your child was meant to be in school — learning, thriving, supported.
    But somewhere along the way, the system broke down.

    Maybe it was school refusal.
    Maybe it was unmet needs.
    Maybe you’re still waiting for a place.
    Maybe you were forced to deregister.

    Whatever the reason — you’re not alone.
    And now, we’re proud to introduce a new tool made just for you.

    🌟 Meet HomeEd Ellie — Your Home Learning Assistant

    HomeEd Ellie is a free, AI-powered assistant designed to help families who are supporting a child at home due to SEND needs, EBSA, trauma, or delays in school placement.

    HomeEd Ellie

    It’s built by us — the same team behind AskEllie.co.uk — and it’s designed to be:

    • 🧠 Personalised
    • 🧩 Neurodiverse-aware
    • 🧘 Low-pressure
    • 💬 Practical and supportive

    It’s not a chatbot full of fluff.
    It’s a structured, trauma-informed helper that asks the right questions and gives you real tools — not judgment.

    ✏️ What Can HomeEd Ellie Do?

    Whether you’re a parent, carer, or 1:1 tutor, HomeEd Ellie can help you:

    ✅ Build a gentle daily or weekly learning plan based on your child’s age, energy, and needs
    ✅ Suggest free or low-cost resources (including games, YouTube channels, printable packs, and more)
    ✅ Blend life skills, play, and education — without pressure
    ✅ Create one-page profiles and briefs for 1:1 tutors or professionals
    ✅ Find ideas that work for children with PDA, ASD, ADHD, sensory needs, or anxiety
    ✅ Rebuild confidence after school trauma

    It’s all based on the real-life experiences of families like yours — and it’s completely free to use.

    🧠 Who Is It For?

    HomeEd Ellie is perfect for families who:

    • Are waiting for a SEND school place
    • Have a child on a reduced or part-time timetable
    • Have been forced into elective home education
    • Are navigating school refusal / EBSA
    • Are temporarily supporting a child in recovery from school trauma
    • Feel overwhelmed, alone, and unsure how to support their child at home

    You don’t need to know where to start.
    You just need to show up — and Ellie will help guide the way.

    📲 How Do I Access It?

    👉 Head to the link in our TikTok bio
    Or
    👉 Go to the Explore GPTs section in ChatGPT and search HomeEd Ellie

    It takes 30 seconds to open — and no login or sign-up is needed if you already use ChatGPT.

    💬 Why We Built This

    Because too many parents are being left behind.

    Because being out of school shouldn’t mean being out of support.
    Because our children deserve more than worksheets and waitlists.
    Because we know what it feels like to be handed an impossible task — with no roadmap.

    HomeEd Ellie is that roadmap.
    Not perfect. Not everything.
    But something real.
    And it’s yours now — whenever you need it.

    💙 Try It Now

    🎒 Visit: HomeEd Ellie
    🎥 Or follow us on TikTok @AskEllieAI for more tools, guidance & community

    Let’s rebuild what the system couldn’t give us.

    Together.

  • 🎓 What Is a Lawful Reduced Timetable?

    What SEND Parents Need to Know

    If your child is only in school for a few hours a day, or only on certain days of the week — you’re not alone.
    Reduced timetables have become the hidden normal in the SEND world. But here’s the part most parents aren’t told:
    👉 Not all reduced timetables are legal.

    Let’s break it down.

    🛑 What Is a Reduced Timetable?

    A reduced timetable is when a child attends school part-time instead of full-time — for example, 9–11am only, or just Maths and English three days a week.

    This is sometimes suggested by schools when:

    • A child is struggling with anxiety or EBSA
    • The setting can’t meet their sensory or behavioural needs
    • Staff feel the environment is too overwhelming
    • The school doesn’t have capacity to support full-time attendance

    But here’s the issue…

    ⚖️ When Is a Reduced Timetable Lawful?

    A reduced timetable must be:

    • ✅ Temporary (with a clear plan to return to full-time)
    • ✅ Agreed to by you (the parent or carer)
    • ✅ In your child’s best interests, not the school’s convenience
    • ✅ Regularly reviewed, with progress and next steps tracked

    If the school hasn’t done this — or you’ve been pressured into agreeing — it may actually be:

    • ❌ An unlawful exclusion
    • ❌ A breach of Section 19 of the Education Act 1996 (duty to provide full-time, suitable education)
    • ❌ Potentially disability discrimination under the Equality Act 2010

    📘 What the Law Says

    Section 19 of the Education Act 1996 requires local authorities to make arrangements for full-time education if a child of compulsory school age is unable to attend school for 15 or more school days — whether consecutive or cumulative — due to illness, exclusion, or other reasons.

    If your child is on a reduced timetable without proper support or oversight, the LA may be failing in this legal duty.

    🧠 Common Misuses of Reduced Timetables

    We’ve heard from hundreds of parents facing:

    • Children stuck on 1–2 hours a day for months
    • Schools saying “we’ll review it eventually” — but never do
    • Parents told they must agree “or the child will be excluded”
    • No proper education happening — just containment

    This isn’t support. This is gatekeeping education.

    💬 What You Can Do

    1. Ask to see the reduced timetable plan in writing
    2. Request a reintegration plan with clear steps & timeframes
    3. Insist on regular review meetings
    4. If there is an EHCP, ensure Section F is being followed
    5. If things aren’t right — put your concerns in writing to the school and LA
    6. Quote Section 19 if the LA is not stepping in

    Need help with the wording?
    👉 We’ve got free templates & guidance at www.askellie.co.uk

    💙 Final Thoughts

    A reduced timetable might be helpful for a short period — but it must never become a long-term workaround for a failing system.

    If your child can’t access full-time education, the system has to adapt to them — not the other way around.

    You’re not being difficult.
    You’re asking them to follow the law.

  • Free (or Nearly Free) Days Out for SEND Families This October Half-Term

    If you’re a parent or carer of a child with SEND, you’ll know that school holidays can bring both joy and pressure — especially when it comes to finding activities that are inclusive, calm, and affordable.

    At AskEllie, we know how hard it can be. That’s why we’ve pulled together some of the best free or low-cost days out across the UK that are SEND-friendly and often include discounts or free entry if you’re in receipt of DLA, PIP, or Universal Credit.

    Whether you’re looking for sensory-friendly spaces, autism-aware venues, or simply something fun and low-cost to do as a family — we’ve got you covered.

    🎬 1. Autism-Friendly Cinema Screenings (Around £3 or Less)

    Most major UK cinema chains run autism-friendly screenings during the holidays. These showings often include:

    • Lower sound and dimmed lighting
    • No trailers or ads
    • Freedom to move, make noise, or bring comfort items

    Where to check:

    • Cineworld, Odeon, Vue, and Showcase all offer options
    • Tickets often cost just £2.99–£4.00
    • Some offer carer tickets free with proof of DLA/PIP

    🧸 2. Free SEND-Friendly Sessions at Museums and Attractions

    Many popular museums now offer quiet mornings, sensory-friendly exhibits, or reduced visitor hours designed specifically for children with additional needs.

    Try these:

    • Science Museum, London – quiet sessions and sensory backpacks
    • National Railway Museum, York – autism-friendly mornings
    • Eureka!, Halifax – SEND play sessions and reduced entry for carers
    • Thinktank, Birmingham – offers calm zones and ear defenders

    🦁 3. Zoos, Farms & Animal Parks – Big Discounts with DLA or PIP

    Many wildlife parks offer free entry for carers, and some even offer heavily discounted tickets for children receiving DLA or PIP.

    Examples include:

    • Yorkshire Wildlife Park
    • Whipsnade Zoo
    • Tropical Butterfly House, Sheffield
    • Battersea Park Children’s Zoo, London

    Always bring proof of benefit and call ahead to confirm.

    🎡 4. Local Inclusive Playgrounds & Soft Play Sessions

    Check your local council or Facebook events for inclusive SEND sessions at:

    • Soft play centres
    • Leisure centres
    • Community halls
    • Libraries

    Some offer free entry or quiet times exclusively for SEND children.

    🚂 5. Heritage Railways – Kids Go Free or Carer Passes

    Many steam railways offer:

    • Free carer travel
    • Discounted kids tickets
    • Themed family events with fewer crowds mid-week

    Try:

    • East Lancashire Railway
    • Severn Valley Railway
    • North Yorkshire Moors Railway

    🌳 6. Free Nature Trails, Sensory Gardens & National Trust Offers

    Outdoor spaces are often free and can be the perfect environment for regulating children who need space and calm.

    Tips:

    • National Trust often offers discounts for low-income families
    • Sensory gardens are popping up in more parks nationwide
    • Try the RSPB, Forestry England, or Woodland Trust websites for downloadable trails and nature games

    💡 Don’t Forget: The Max Card

    If your child receives DLA or has an EHCP, you might qualify for the Max Card – which offers hundreds of discounts across UK attractions.

    Ask your local SENDIASS, council, or school if they provide it.

    👣 How to Find Local SEND-Friendly Days Out

    ➡ Try searching:

    • “SEND events near me” on Facebook
    • Local council websites under “SEND Local Offer”
    • Your local library or leisure centre’s half-term programme

    You Deserve Support, Not Stress

    Being a SEND parent means you’re constantly planning, adapting, and advocating — especially during school holidays. But you’re not alone.

    AskEllie is here to help guide you through everything from legal entitlements to accessible days out. Whether you’re trying to claim DLA, appeal a school placement, or find a calm space your child can enjoy — we’ve got your back.

    📬 Need help with DLA, EHCPs, or finding out what you’re entitled to?
    Chat to AskEllie — your free AI-powered legal info tool for SEND families.
    👉 www.askellie.co.uk

  • The Law is Shifting: What the End of Automatic Parental Involvement Means for SEND Families

    For years, the UK family court system has operated under a key presumption: that involvement from both parents is beneficial for the child, regardless of circumstance. But recent legal developments signal a major shift, one that SEND families in particular should pay close attention to.

    This is more than just a legal technicality. It could reshape how courts handle complex family dynamics — especially when the well-being, safety, and mental health of vulnerable children are at stake.

    What’s Changing?

    Under Section 1(2A) of the Children Act 1989, the family courts have long worked with the assumption that a child’s welfare is best served by having both parents involved in their life. While this presumption was always rebuttable (meaning it could be challenged), in practice, it often led to decisions that didn’t fully account for emotional harm, coercive control, or trauma — especially in families where children had special educational needs and disabilities (SEND).

    Now, with new rulings and a growing body of evidence showing how this presumption has harmed some children, particularly those with SEND or those living with one protective parent, the automatic presumption of parental involvement is under review — and may be removed altogether.

    Why This Matters for SEND Families

    SEND children are more vulnerable to:

    • Emotional harm from exposure to unsafe or inconsistent parenting
    • Trauma from being placed in shared arrangements that ignore sensory needs, attachment trauma, or communication difficulties
    • Delays in healing when their voice isn’t properly heard in court decisions

    Families have long reported that their children were forced into contact with a parent they were terrified of — not because the child lacked support, but because the law assumed both parents should always be involved.

    This one-size-fits-all approach didn’t account for the complex needs of neurodivergent children, those with PDA, ASD, ADHD, trauma backgrounds, or anxiety disorders.

    What This Change Could Mean

    1. Greater focus on the individual child – Courts may be more likely to look at the child’s mental health, SEND profile, and history of support needs before insisting on parental contact.
    2. More protection for protective parents – In many SEND families, one parent shoulders the advocacy and emotional labour. These parents often felt discredited or blamed when raising concerns. That could now change.
    3. Recognition of emotional abuse and coercion – Courts may no longer default to assuming that all parental involvement is safe and beneficial, especially if there are concerns about past behaviour, neglect, or psychological harm.

    What You Can Do as a Parent

    • Document everything – Keep records of professional support (GPs, CAMHS, school, EHCPs) that highlight your child’s needs.
    • Know your rights – The Children Act 1989 and updated family court guidance can support your position if you believe contact is not in your child’s best interests.
    • Seek advocacy – Services like CAFCASS, IPSEA, and AskEllie can help you frame your concerns clearly and legally.
    • Request a Section 7 or 37 report – If you’re involved in family court proceedings, these assessments can bring in a professional view of the child’s needs.

    Final Thought

    SEND families have long lived in fear of being misunderstood — both by schools and by the family courts. This legal shift could mark the beginning of a more child-centred approach, one that finally puts emotional safety, mental health, and individual need above legal tradition.

    It’s a step forward. But families must stay informed and speak up.

    💜 For more guidance, visit www.askellie.co.uk and explore our resources for SEND parents navigating complex systems.

    Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For specific situations, consult a qualified legal adviser.

  • Why Are Social Services Being Called on SEND Parents? Know Your Rights.

    Many SEND parents are speaking out — saying they’ve been referred to social services not for neglect or harm, but for trying to protect their child’s mental health. In some cases, parents have been reported for:

    • Challenging a school about unmet SEN needs
    • Requesting part-time timetables to support recovery from anxiety
    • Keeping their child home due to EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance)
    • Raising concerns with Ofsted

    This is frightening — and it’s happening more often than many people realise.

    Why Are Referrals Increasing?

    There are several pressures behind this:

    • School accountability: Schools must justify absences and exclusions, which can lead to defensive referrals.
    • Funding gaps: Lack of support can lead to behavioural escalations, which schools struggle to manage.
    • Policy misunderstandings: Some professionals don’t understand EBSA or SEND law, so interpret mental health absences as neglect.
    • Referral targets: While not officially documented, many parents suspect schools and professionals are under informal pressure to make a certain number of referrals.

    What Does the Law Say?

    1. Section 17 of the Children Act 1989

    This law says local authorities must provide services to support “children in need” — which includes many SEND children. If your child has high needs or mental health struggles, you are entitled to support — not punishment.

    Use this law to request help rather than be investigated:

    • Ask for an assessment under Section 17
    • Emphasise that your child is a child in need, not at risk

    2. Section 47 of the Children Act 1989

    This is the section used when there is suspected harm or abuse. But in many SEND cases, there’s no safeguarding concern — only a misunderstanding of the child’s needs. You have the right to:

    • See all referral records
    • Provide your own evidence (e.g. CAMHS reports, EHCP, private assessments)
    • Challenge any misleading or inaccurate information

    3. The SEND Code of Practice (2015)

    The code is clear: schools must work in partnership with families and use reasonable adjustments to support attendance and engagement. Threatening parents with referrals for advocating for their child is not lawful.

    4. Right to Home Educate / Use of Section 19

    If your child is too anxious to attend school, the local authority still has a legal duty under Section 19 of the Education Act 1996 to provide a suitable education — even if that’s at home or via tuition.

    What Can You Do If It Happens to You?

    1. Stay calm and gather evidence – Record all communication with the school or social workers. Keep emails, notes from meetings, and reports.
    2. Ask what triggered the referral – You have a right to know what concerns were raised and by whom.
    3. Clarify your intentions – Make it clear that you’re protecting your child’s mental health, not refusing to engage. Share any diagnoses, CAMHS referrals, or EHCP evidence.
    4. Request a Section 17 Assessment – Flip the script: show that you need support, not suspicion. Request support under the Children in Need framework.
    5. Contact SEND support charities – Organisations like IPSEA, SOS!SEN, and Contact can help you advocate.
    6. Use AskEllie.co.uk – Our free AI assistant helps you write letters, understand your rights, and prepare responses.

    Final Thought

    No parent should fear a knock on the door for doing what’s best for their child. The law is meant to protect vulnerable children — and that includes children with SEND who are struggling with school-based trauma, anxiety, or unmet needs.

    If you’ve had social services involved simply because you’re advocating for your child — you are not alone, and you may have legal protections.

    Visit www.AskEllie.co.uk for help, templates, and step-by-step guidance.

    Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For individual concerns, consult a qualified legal advisor or advocate.