Published: 17 June 2026

For years, parents of children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) have been saying the same thing:

The system is broken.

Families have spoken about long waits for support, battles for EHCPs, schools struggling to meet needs, rising exclusions, increasing numbers of children unable to attend school, and the emotional toll this takes on entire families.

Until now, many parents have felt ignored.

But something significant happened on 17 June 2026.

The Government formally responded to Parliament’s report on the SEND crisis and, for the first time, has effectively acknowledged what families have been saying for years:

The SEND system is not working.

Why This Matters

This isn’t simply another consultation or political announcement.

This is the Government’s official response to the Education Select Committee’s inquiry into SEND.

The report recognises that the current system is failing:

• Children
• Parents
• Schools
• Local Authorities

That alone is a major moment.

For years, families have had to fight to convince decision-makers that the problems they face are real. The debate is no longer about whether there is a crisis.

The Government has now acknowledged that there is one.

What Is The Government Proposing?

The response sets out a number of major reforms designed to improve support for children and young people with SEND.

1. National Inclusion Standards

One of the biggest proposals is the introduction of National Inclusion Standards.

The aim is to create a clearer expectation of what support should be available in every school, regardless of where a child lives.

Parents often tell us that support depends heavily on postcode and individual schools. The Government says these standards will help create more consistency across the country.

2. More Support In Mainstream Schools

The Government wants mainstream schools to become more inclusive and better equipped to support children with additional needs.

This includes:

• Better staff training
• Earlier intervention
• Greater access to specialist advice
• More resources for schools

The goal is to provide support before families reach crisis point.

3. Earlier Access To Specialists

The Government has announced plans for what it calls “Experts at Hand.”

This aims to give schools easier access to professionals such as:

• Educational Psychologists
• Speech and Language Therapists
• SEND specialists
• Mental health professionals

Many families currently wait months or even years for assessments and specialist input. The proposal aims to make support available much earlier.

4. Increased Investment

The Government has also announced significant funding commitments, including billions of pounds for SEND reforms, inclusion support and specialist provision.

While funding announcements are always welcome, families will understandably want to see how this translates into real support on the ground.

What About EHCPs?

Many parents have understandably asked whether EHCPs are being removed.

Based on the Government’s response, there is currently no indication that EHCPs will disappear.

Instead, the focus appears to be on improving support available before children require an EHCP and making mainstream settings more inclusive.

Children with the most complex needs are still expected to require specialist provision and statutory protection.

What Does This Mean For Families Right Now?

The honest answer is:

Not much will change overnight.

This response is an acknowledgement of the problem and a statement of intent.

Families will still face many of the same challenges tomorrow that they faced yesterday.

However, something important has changed.

The Government has now publicly accepted that the system is failing too many children and families.

That gives campaigners, parents and organisations a much stronger foundation from which to push for meaningful change.

Families Will Be Watching Closely

Parents have heard promises before.

Many families have spent years fighting for support that should never have required a battle in the first place.

The real test will not be the announcements.

The real test will be whether:

• Children receive support earlier.
• Schools become more inclusive.
• Waiting times improve.
• Families experience fewer battles.
• Outcomes improve for children and young people.

What’s Next?

At AskEllie, we will be analysing these proposals in more detail over the coming weeks and sharing what they could mean for families.

Importantly, Rebecca and I will also be returning to Parliament on Monday 29 June for further discussions around the future of SEND support and reform.

There are some important conversations taking place behind the scenes, and we hope to be able to share more with you very soon.

For now, one thing is clear:

The SEND crisis is no longer something families are saying exists.

The Government has now formally acknowledged it too.

Stay tuned.

Click below for the full report

REPORT

One of the biggest questions parents ask is:

“Why does it seem like there are so many more autistic children today?”

It’s a fair question.

Autism diagnoses have increased dramatically over the last few decades. In schools, support services, waiting lists and online communities, more families than ever are talking about autism.

But does this mean autism itself is becoming more common?

Or are we simply getting better at recognising it?

The honest answer is that researchers are still trying to understand the full picture.

Better Awareness Means More Children Are Being Identified

For many years, autism was understood very differently than it is today.

Children who struggled socially, experienced sensory difficulties, became overwhelmed easily, or had unusual interests were often labelled as:

• Shy
• Anxious
• Difficult
• Naughty
• Attention-seeking
• Poorly behaved

Many autistic children simply weren’t recognised.

This was especially true for:

• Girls
• High-masking children
• Children with PDA profiles
• Children who performed well academically
• Adults who never received support growing up

Today, awareness is far greater than it was 20 or 30 years ago.

Teachers, parents, health professionals and schools are more likely to recognise autistic traits and refer children for assessment.

As a result, many children who would once have been overlooked are now receiving diagnoses and support.

Diagnostic Criteria Have Changed

Another reason diagnosis rates have increased is that the way autism is diagnosed has evolved.

Years ago, only children with more obvious presentations of autism were likely to receive a diagnosis.

Today we understand that autism exists across a wide spectrum of experiences.

Some autistic children may be highly verbal.

Some may have strong friendships.

Some may mask their difficulties at school but completely unravel at home.

As our understanding has improved, more children who previously wouldn’t have met diagnostic criteria are now being recognised.

Could There Be Other Factors?

Some researchers believe that increased awareness and changing diagnostic criteria explain a large part of the rise in autism diagnoses.

However, some studies suggest these factors may not explain all of the increase.

This has led researchers to explore whether environmental factors may also play a role alongside genetics.

One area being investigated is something called epigenetics.

Epigenetics looks at how genes and environmental influences may interact.

Autism is known to have a strong genetic component, but researchers are studying whether environmental factors before birth or during early development could influence how genetic traits are expressed.

It is important to stress that scientists do not currently have clear answers.

There is no single proven environmental cause of autism.

The research is ongoing.

What We Know For Certain

There is still much to learn about autism.

But there are some things researchers broadly agree on:

• Autism has a strong genetic basis.
• Awareness and recognition have improved significantly.
• More children are now being identified who would previously have been missed.
• Scientists are continuing to investigate why diagnosis rates have increased.
• There is no single accepted explanation for the rise in autism diagnoses.

The Question That Matters Most

While researchers continue exploring why autism diagnoses are increasing, many families are asking a different question:

“How do we make sure autistic children get the support they need?”

Across the UK, families continue to face:

• Long assessment waiting lists
• Delays accessing support
• School attendance difficulties
• Challenges securing EHCPs
• Mental health struggles caused by unmet needs

Whether autism is becoming more common or whether we are simply getting better at recognising it, one thing is clear:

Thousands of autistic children still aren’t receiving the support they need quickly enough.

And for many parents, that’s the issue that matters most.

What Do You Think?

Do you believe the rise in autism diagnoses is mainly due to better awareness and recognition?

Or do you think there may be other factors involved?

Let us know your thoughts.

At AskEllie, we believe the most important thing is ensuring autistic children and their families receive understanding, acceptance and the support they deserve.

The government is considering new restrictions on social media and online platforms for children.

Supporters argue these measures are needed to protect young people from harmful content, cyberbullying, online predators and the negative effects excessive screen time can have on mental health.

It’s a conversation worth having.

But there is one question I rarely hear being asked:

What could this mean for autistic and ADHD children?

Not All Screen Time Is The Same

When people think about YouTube, they often think about mindless scrolling.

Hours lost watching random videos.

Algorithms keeping children glued to screens.

And yes, that does happen.

But for many neurodivergent children, YouTube serves a very different purpose.

For some autistic children, YouTube isn’t simply entertainment.

It’s:

• A way to explore special interests
• A source of comfort and predictability
• A learning tool
• A place to discover new skills
• A way to regulate after a difficult day

Many parents will recognise the child who can spend hours learning about trains, history, gaming, coding, science, music or animals.

To outsiders it might look like screen time.

To that child, it might feel like learning, connection and relaxation.

For Some Children, It Feels Safer Than The Playground

This is perhaps the most important point.

Many autistic and ADHD children struggle socially.

Some experience bullying.

Some feel isolated.

Some spend years feeling different from their peers.

For those children, online communities can provide something they struggle to find elsewhere:

Belonging.

Many neurodivergent young people describe finding others who share their interests, experiences and ways of thinking through online platforms.

For some, that connection can be incredibly valuable.

In fact, many parents tell us their child feels more accepted online than they do in school.

The Potential Benefits of Restrictions

This doesn’t mean there are no risks.

There absolutely are.

Many neurodivergent children can be vulnerable online.

Some may struggle to recognise manipulation.

Some may become overwhelmed by content.

Others may spend so much time online that sleep, exercise and real-world relationships begin to suffer.

These are genuine concerns.

And parents deserve support to navigate them.

The question isn’t whether children should be protected.

The question is whether one solution works for every child.

Could There Be Unintended Consequences?

Whenever governments introduce large-scale changes, it’s important to consider unintended consequences.

If a child relies heavily on YouTube or online communities for:

• Learning
• Regulation
• Social connection
• Access to special interests

What happens if that suddenly disappears?

Will alternative spaces exist?

Will there be neurodivergent-friendly platforms?

Will children who already feel isolated become even more isolated?

These questions deserve careful consideration.

Listening to Neurodivergent Young People

Perhaps the most important voices in this debate are the ones we hear least often.

The young people themselves.

Too often decisions are made about autistic and ADHD children without asking them how those decisions might affect their daily lives.

Some may welcome restrictions.

Others may feel anxious about losing an important part of their routine and connection to the world.

The reality is likely to be far more nuanced than headlines suggest.

The Conversation We Need To Have

This isn’t an argument against online safety.

Children should be protected.

Parents should be supported.

Platforms should be held accountable.

But it’s also important to recognise that neurodivergent children often experience the online world differently.

For some autistic and ADHD children, YouTube isn’t simply a source of entertainment.

It’s a source of understanding.

A source of learning.

A source of comfort.

And sometimes, a source of connection in a world that can often feel overwhelming.

As this debate continues, let’s make sure neurodivergent children are part of the conversation.

Because protecting children matters.

But understanding them matters too.

One of the most difficult parts of raising a child with autism, ADHD, PDA or other SEND needs is something that rarely gets talked about.

What happens when one parent accepts the diagnosis… and the other doesn’t?

At AskEllie, we hear this story far more often than people realise.

One parent is researching autism.

Attending appointments.

Reading reports.

Speaking to school.

Fighting for support.

Trying to understand why their child is struggling.

Meanwhile, the other parent may still be saying:

“There’s nothing wrong with them.”

“They’re just being difficult.”

“They need firmer boundaries.”

“You’re making excuses for them.”

The result can be heartbreaking.

Not only is the child struggling, but the parents can find themselves on completely different pages.

Why Does This Happen?

It’s easy to assume that the parent who doesn’t accept the diagnosis simply doesn’t care.

But often the reality is more complicated.

For some parents, accepting a diagnosis can bring feelings of:

• Grief
• Fear
• Guilt
• Confusion
• Worry about the future

Some may fear their child will be labelled.

Others may worry about what the diagnosis means.

Some may even see traits of themselves in their child and struggle with what that might mean for them personally.

Denial can sometimes be a way of protecting themselves from difficult emotions.

The Parent Carrying the Load

One of the most common themes we hear from SEND parents is feeling alone.

When one parent accepts the diagnosis and the other doesn’t, the responsibility often falls heavily on one person.

They become the one:

• Completing forms
• Chasing professionals
• Attending meetings
• Researching support
• Managing school communication
• Advocating for their child

At the same time, they may feel criticised by the person they need support from the most.

Many describe it as one of the loneliest parts of the SEND journey.

The Impact on Relationships

Having a child with additional needs can place enormous pressure on relationships.

Not because parents don’t love each other.

Not because they don’t love their child.

But because they may be processing the situation in very different ways.

One parent may be focused on acceptance and support.

The other may still be trying to make sense of what is happening.

This difference can create frustration, resentment and conflict.

Especially when decisions need to be made about assessments, school support, EHCPs or disability benefits.

Finding Common Ground

Every family is different, but one thing often helps.

Shifting the conversation away from labels and towards needs.

Instead of asking:

“Do you believe they have autism?”

Try asking:

“What support does our child need right now?”

Even when parents disagree about a diagnosis, they can often agree that their child is struggling.

Focusing on the child’s experiences rather than the label can sometimes help bridge the gap.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re the parent carrying the emotional and practical load while your partner struggles to accept your child’s diagnosis, please know you’re not alone.

This is one of the most common relationship challenges we hear about from SEND families.

It doesn’t mean your relationship is failing.

It doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t care.

And it doesn’t mean things can’t change.

For many families, acceptance comes with time, understanding and experience.

But until then, it’s important to remember that your feelings are valid too.

Because supporting a child who is struggling is hard enough.

Feeling like you’re doing it alone can be even harder.

If you’re claiming Universal Credit and have a long-term health condition, disability, or mental health condition that affects your ability to work, you may have heard people mention LCW or LCWRA.

But what do these terms actually mean?

And could they affect how much Universal Credit you receive?

In this guide, we’ll explain Limited Capability for Work (LCW) and Limited Capability for Work and Work-Related Activity (LCWRA) in plain English.

What Is LCWRA?

LCWRA stands for Limited Capability for Work and Work-Related Activity.

It’s part of the Universal Credit system and is designed for people whose health condition or disability significantly affects their ability to work.

If you’re awarded LCWRA:

• You won’t be required to look for work.
• You won’t be required to take part in work-related activities.
• You’ll receive an additional amount as part of your Universal Credit award.

For many people, LCWRA can make a significant difference financially while also reducing the pressure of work-search requirements.

How Do You Apply for LCWRA?

You don’t apply directly for LCWRA.

Instead, the process usually begins when you tell Universal Credit that you have a health condition that affects your ability to work.

This could happen:

• When making a new Universal Credit claim.
• After a change in circumstances while already claiming Universal Credit.

You’ll normally need to provide a fit note from your GP or healthcare professional.

What Is a UC50 Form?

Once you’ve reported your health condition and provided evidence, you’ll usually be sent a UC50 questionnaire.

This form is extremely important.

Many people assume the form is about their diagnosis.

It isn’t.

The DWP is primarily interested in:

• How your condition affects your daily life.
• What activities you struggle with.
• What support you need.
• How your symptoms affect your ability to work.

For example, simply writing “I have anxiety” is unlikely to be enough.

What matters is explaining how anxiety affects your ability to leave the house, communicate with others, manage appointments, travel independently, or cope in a workplace environment.

What Happens After the UC50 Form?

After returning the UC50 form, most people will be invited to attend a Work Capability Assessment (WCA).

This assessment may take place:

• By telephone
• By video call
• Face-to-face

The assessor will consider your questionnaire, medical evidence, and answers during the assessment.

Possible Outcomes of the Assessment

There are usually three possible outcomes.

1. Fit for Work

This means the DWP believes you’re capable of working and meeting normal Universal Credit work requirements.

You will normally be expected to look for work and attend appointments with your work coach.

2. Limited Capability for Work (LCW)

This means the DWP accepts that you’re not currently fit for work.

However, you may still be expected to take part in activities designed to help prepare you for work in the future.

These activities could include:

• Training courses
• Skills development
• CV preparation
• Work-focused interviews

Importantly, most new Universal Credit claimants do not receive additional money for LCW alone.

3. Limited Capability for Work and Work-Related Activity (LCWRA)

This is the highest level of support within the Work Capability Assessment process.

If you’re awarded LCWRA:

• You won’t be required to search for work.
• You won’t be expected to participate in work preparation activities.
• You’ll receive an additional Universal Credit payment.

This is often what people mean when they refer to the “health element” of Universal Credit.

When Does the Extra LCWRA Payment Start?

Many people are surprised to learn that LCWRA payments don’t usually begin immediately.

For most claimants, there is a waiting period before the additional amount is included in their Universal Credit award.

This often means the extra payment begins several assessment periods after the health condition is first reported and the necessary evidence is provided.

What If You Disagree With the Decision?

If you’re found fit for work, or you believe the wrong decision has been made, you have the right to challenge it.

Step 1: Mandatory Reconsideration

The first stage is called a Mandatory Reconsideration (MR).

This involves asking the DWP to review the decision.

Providing additional evidence and explaining why the decision is incorrect can be extremely important at this stage.

Step 2: Appeal to an Independent Tribunal

If the Mandatory Reconsideration is unsuccessful, you can appeal to an independent tribunal.

Many claimants are successful at tribunal, particularly where strong evidence is provided showing how their condition affects their ability to function and work.

The Biggest Mistake People Make

One of the most common mistakes people make throughout the LCWRA process is focusing entirely on their diagnosis.

The DWP is not simply assessing whether you have a condition.

They’re assessing how that condition affects your day-to-day functioning.

The strongest claims clearly explain:

• What difficulties you experience.
• How often they occur.
• What support you need.
• Why work or work-related activities would be difficult or impossible.

Final Thoughts

LCWRA can provide important financial support and remove work-search requirements for people whose health conditions significantly affect their ability to work.

The key thing to remember is that the process is not about proving a diagnosis.

It’s about demonstrating the real-world impact your condition has on your daily life and ability to function.

If you’re claiming Universal Credit and struggling because of a disability, long-term health condition, or mental health condition, understanding LCWRA could make a significant difference to your entitlement.

Most people know the stereotypical signs of autism and ADHD.

They think of hyperactivity.

Difficulty sitting still.

Social challenges.

Or intense special interests.

But many of the biggest struggles autistic and ADHD children face every day are things that most people never connect to neurodiversity at all.

Instead, they’re often mistaken for bad behaviour, laziness, carelessness, or a lack of effort.

Let’s look at five everyday challenges that many autistic and ADHD children experience.

1. Constantly Losing Things

How many times have you heard:

“Where’s your coat?”

“Have you seen your water bottle?”

“What happened to your school bag?”

For many autistic and ADHD children, losing things isn’t about not caring.

It can be linked to difficulties with working memory, attention, organisation, and executive functioning.

Their brains are often processing so much information at once that everyday objects simply disappear from their mental radar.

What looks like carelessness can actually be a genuine neurological challenge.

2. Emotional Outbursts Over Small Problems

The wrong cup.

A broken biscuit.

A missing toy.

A change of plan.

To an outsider, the reaction can seem completely out of proportion.

But for many autistic and ADHD children, emotional regulation is a real struggle.

Often, what appears to be an overreaction is actually the result of stress building throughout the day.

The small event isn’t the whole problem.

It’s simply the final straw.

Many children spend hours trying to cope with sensory overload, social pressures, anxiety, demands, and uncertainty before reaching a point where they can no longer hold everything together.

3. Getting Upset When Plans Change

Many families know this feeling.

You mention a change in plans and suddenly your child becomes anxious, upset, or distressed.

People often assume the child is being difficult.

In reality, many autistic and ADHD children rely heavily on predictability.

Knowing what is happening next helps them feel safe and in control.

Unexpected changes can create genuine anxiety because the mental picture they have built for the day suddenly disappears.

For some children, even a seemingly small change can feel overwhelming.

4. Interrupting Conversations

Parents often worry that their child is being rude when they constantly interrupt.

In many cases, this isn’t intentional.

Children with ADHD, and some autistic children, may struggle to hold thoughts in their working memory.

When an idea appears, it can feel urgent to say it immediately.

If they wait, they may genuinely lose the thought altogether.

What looks like poor manners is often a difficulty with impulse control and working memory rather than a lack of respect for others.

5. Forgetting Instructions Almost Immediately

You ask your child to:

Put their shoes on.

Get their school bag.

Bring their water bottle.

Thirty seconds later they’ve done none of them.

Many parents find this incredibly frustrating.

But once again, this can be linked to executive functioning and working memory difficulties.

Some children struggle to hold multiple pieces of information in their minds at the same time.

It’s not that they weren’t listening.

It’s not that they don’t want to cooperate.

Their brain simply struggles to store and process the information long enough to act on it.

Why Understanding Matters

One of the biggest challenges for autistic and ADHD children is that many of their struggles are invisible.

People see the behaviour.

They don’t always see the reason behind it.

When we misunderstand these difficulties, children can end up being labelled as lazy, naughty, rude, dramatic, or careless.

When we understand what’s really happening, we can offer support instead of punishment.

That shift in perspective can make an enormous difference to a child’s confidence, wellbeing, and relationship with the adults around them.

Final Thoughts

If your child constantly loses things, forgets instructions, gets upset when plans change, interrupts conversations, or has emotional outbursts over seemingly small problems, you’re not alone.

These struggles are far more common in autistic and ADHD children than many people realise.

Sometimes the behaviour that frustrates us the most is actually a sign that a child needs understanding rather than correction.

And often, that understanding is where positive change begins.

If you’ve already been through a DLA application and a Mandatory Reconsideration, you’ll know how exhausting the process can be.

Many parents contact me after receiving a Mandatory Reconsideration decision that still doesn’t properly reflect their child’s needs.

At that point, it can feel like you’ve explained everything already — yet you’re still being told your child doesn’t qualify, or that the award is lower than expected.

For many families, the next step is a tribunal.

And that can feel daunting.

Questions like:

• What happens at a tribunal?
• What will they ask me?
• What evidence should I focus on?
• How do I explain my child’s needs properly?
• What if I get it wrong?

are incredibly common.

That’s exactly why I’ve launched a new service.

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📘 DLA Tribunal Preparation Support

This new AskEllie service is designed for parents who have moved beyond Mandatory Reconsideration and are preparing for a DLA tribunal.

The aim is simple:

To help you better understand your case, identify the strongest arguments, and feel more confident about the tribunal process.

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What The Support Includes

The service includes:

✔ Review of your situation and tribunal paperwork

✔ Review of supporting evidence

✔ Identification of the strongest points in your case

✔ Guidance on what may have been missed or misunderstood

✔ Practical tribunal preparation advice

✔ Explanation of common tribunal questions

✔ Suggestions for strengthening evidence where appropriate

✔ Clear guidance on what to focus on before your hearing

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Why Tribunals Matter

Many parents assume that once a Mandatory Reconsideration has been unsuccessful, that’s the end of the process.

In reality, many families go on to achieve successful outcomes at tribunal.

One reason is that tribunals allow a much fuller understanding of a child’s day-to-day needs than a paper-based decision alone.

The tribunal process gives parents the opportunity to explain:

• supervision needs
• safety risks
• care requirements
• mobility difficulties
• and the real impact their child’s condition has on daily life

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Who This Support Is For

This service is designed for parents who:

• have received an unsuccessful Mandatory Reconsideration
• have lodged a tribunal appeal
• have a tribunal hearing approaching
• feel overwhelmed by the process
• want help understanding their case and preparing properly

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A Final Thought

Getting to tribunal can feel frustrating and exhausting.

But it doesn’t mean your child’s needs aren’t valid.

Many successful outcomes happen because families continue advocating for the support their child genuinely requires.

This service is designed to help you approach that process with greater clarity, confidence, and understanding.

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Explore DLA Tribunal Preparation Support

👉 https://stan.store/Askellie

👉 https://www.askellie.co.uk

Because parents shouldn’t have to navigate these systems alone.

School attendance fines are becoming increasingly common across England.

For many families, particularly those raising autistic children, children with ADHD, EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance), anxiety or other SEND needs, the fear of receiving a fine can be overwhelming.

The problem is that many parents are already doing everything they can.

They’re attending meetings.

They’re speaking to schools.

They’re seeking support.

They’re managing daily meltdowns, panic attacks and school-related distress.

Yet some still find themselves facing attendance warnings or penalty notices.

If this sounds familiar, here are some important things every SEND parent should know.

First: Understand What Schools and Local Authorities Are Looking At

Attendance teams are often focused on patterns of absence.

What they don’t always see is what is happening behind the scenes.

They may not see:

• The child who hasn’t slept all night because of anxiety.
• The child who is physically sick every morning before school.
• The autistic child experiencing sensory overwhelm.
• The child with EBSA who is living in a constant state of fight, flight or freeze.
• The parent spending hours trying to get their child through the school gates.

This is why evidence is so important.

1. Put Everything in Writing

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is relying on phone calls.

Phone calls leave no paper trail.

Emails do.

If your child is struggling to attend school, make sure you are regularly updating the school in writing.

Explain:

• What is happening.
• What your child is saying.
• Any anxiety or distress you are seeing.
• Any professional involvement.

The goal is to create a clear record showing that you are engaging and seeking support.

2. Keep a Detailed Attendance and Wellbeing Diary

Evidence can make a huge difference.

Keep a record of:

• Panic attacks
• Meltdowns
• Sleep difficulties
• School refusal incidents
• Physical symptoms
• GP appointments
• CAMHS involvement
• Professional recommendations

A diary helps demonstrate that there is an underlying issue rather than simple non-attendance.

3. Ask for Support Early

Don’t wait until attendance falls significantly before asking for help.

Consider requesting:

• SEN Support meetings
• Reasonable adjustments
• Early Help support
• Educational Psychology involvement
• Attendance support plans
• EHCP assessments where appropriate

The earlier concerns are raised, the stronger your position will be later.

4. Understand Penalty Notice Deadlines

Many parents are unaware that attendance fines operate within strict legal timeframes.

Generally speaking:

• Penalty notices have payment deadlines.
• Local authorities cannot leave matters indefinitely.
• Prosecutions for attendance offences are generally subject to legal time limits.

While these timeframes are important, they should never be relied upon as a strategy.

Your strongest protection will always be evidence and engagement.

5. Understand the Difference Between Defiance and Disability

This is where many SEND families feel frustrated.

There is a significant difference between:

A child choosing not to attend school.

And

A child who cannot access education because of overwhelming anxiety, autism, trauma, disability or unmet SEND needs.

Unfortunately, attendance figures alone do not always tell the full story.

This is why parents must continue documenting the reasons behind absences.

6. Keep Copies of Everything

Create a dedicated folder containing:

• Emails
• Attendance letters
• Medical evidence
• School reports
• CAMHS correspondence
• EHCP paperwork
• Meeting notes

If attendance concerns escalate, having everything in one place can make an enormous difference.

7. Remember That Schools and Local Authorities Still Have Duties

Where attendance difficulties are linked to SEND, schools and local authorities do not simply have the power to enforce attendance.

They also have duties to:

• Identify needs
• Provide support
• Make reasonable adjustments
• Consider whether a child’s needs are being met

Too often families feel that enforcement arrives before support.

If your child is struggling because of SEND, keep bringing the conversation back to support and unmet needs.

The Reality for Many SEND Families

Most SEND parents are not trying to avoid school.

They are trying to help a child who is struggling.

Many spend years:

• Fighting for assessments
• Chasing CAMHS
• Requesting support
• Attending meetings
• Managing daily crises

The reality is that many parents feel trapped between attendance expectations and a child who is genuinely unable to cope.

That is not a parenting failure.

It is often a sign that something deeper needs to be addressed.

Final Thoughts

If you are worried about attendance fines, don’t panic.

The most important thing you can do is:

• Keep records.
• Communicate in writing.
• Ask for support early.
• Gather evidence.
• Focus on your child’s needs.

Attendance issues linked to SEND are rarely simple.

The stronger your evidence, the stronger your ability to demonstrate that what your child needs is support, not punishment.

Need More Help?

AskEllie supports families navigating SEND, EBSA, EHCPs, school attendance issues and local authority disputes.

Visit AskEllie.co.uk for more information, resources and support.

When people talk about SEND, the focus is usually where it should be:

The child.

Their needs.
Their education.
Their mental health.
Their future.

But there is another group living this reality every single day that receives remarkably little attention.

SEND parents.

Because while countless studies examine outcomes for children, very few ask a simple question:

What happens to the parents after years of fighting systems that aren’t working?

The Hidden Cost Nobody Talks About

Most SEND parents don’t wake up expecting to become advocates.

They don’t expect to become experts in:

• Education law
• Disability benefits
• EHCPs
• Tribunal processes
• Attendance procedures
• Mental health services
• Local authority complaints

Yet many do.

Not because they want to.

Because they have no choice.

What starts as parenting often becomes a second full-time job.

Sometimes a third.

The Career Cost

One of the least discussed consequences is employment.

Many SEND parents experience:

• Reduced hours
• Missed promotions
• Career changes
• Job loss
• Self-employment out of necessity
• Financial hardship

How exactly is a parent supposed to maintain a conventional job when they may receive:

• Multiple calls from school
• Requests for emergency collection
• Last-minute meetings
• CAMHS appointments
• Exclusions
• Attendance concerns

Most employers simply aren’t built around this reality.

Yet thousands of parents are expected to somehow make it work.

The Mental Health Impact

Parents often describe living in a constant state of hypervigilance.

The next phone call.

The next exclusion.

The next crisis.

The next battle.

The next letter from the local authority.

Over time, many experience:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Burnout
• Chronic stress
• Sleep deprivation

But because all the attention is rightly focused on the child, parents often suffer in silence.

The Relationship Impact

SEND doesn’t just affect individuals.

It affects families.

Marriages.

Partnerships.

Friendships.

Siblings.

Many couples find themselves under enormous strain.

Not because they don’t love each other.

But because they are carrying pressures that most people never have to imagine.

The endless meetings.

The constant advocacy.

The financial uncertainty.

The emotional exhaustion.

These things take a toll.

The Isolation

Many SEND parents become isolated.

Not intentionally.

But because life becomes smaller.

Social events are missed.

Invitations are declined.

Friendships drift.

Family members don’t always understand.

Some parents describe feeling as though they live in a completely different world from everyone around them.

A world of paperwork, waiting lists and survival.

The Physical Impact

Chronic stress affects the body.

We know this.

Yet very little attention is given to what years of SEND-related stress may be doing to parents physically.

High stress levels are associated with:

• Poor sleep
• Increased illness
• Cardiovascular problems
• Fatigue
• Weakened immune systems

How many parents are sacrificing their own health simply to keep their family afloat?

We don’t really know.

Because very few people are asking the question.

The Research Gap

There is increasing recognition that carers experience significant challenges.

But there is remarkably little research examining the long-term impact of:

• SEND battles
• EHCP disputes
• Tribunal processes
• School attendance crises
• EBSA
• Repeated exclusions
• Years of unmet need

on parents themselves.

The people holding families together often become invisible.

What Happens When the Child Becomes an Adult?

This is another question that receives little attention.

What happens to the parent who has spent:

• 10 years fighting
• 15 years advocating
• 20 years surviving

What is the impact on their health?

Their finances?

Their retirement?

Their relationships?

Their future?

Nobody seems to be measuring it.

Why This Matters

This isn’t about taking attention away from children.

Quite the opposite.

Because children do better when families are supported.

If parents are exhausted, burned out and financially broken, that inevitably affects the whole family.

Supporting SEND parents isn’t separate from supporting SEND children.

It’s part of the same conversation.

The Question We Should Be Asking

Perhaps the biggest question of all is this:

If thousands of SEND parents are reporting the same experiences…

The same burnout.

The same financial hardship.

The same mental health struggles.

The same battles.

Why aren’t we studying the long-term consequences more closely?

Because what if the biggest hidden cost of a failing SEND system isn’t just the impact on children?

What if it’s the impact on the families who spend years trying to protect them?

And what if nobody is measuring it?

AskEllie.co.uk

For many families, booking a holiday is exciting.

For parents of disabled children, it can also be stressful.

Questions about airports, security, queues, seating arrangements, sensory needs, medication and meltdowns can quickly turn what should be an enjoyable experience into something that feels overwhelming.

The good news is that there is often far more support available than many families realise.

Here are some of the most useful travel tips every SEND family should know before flying this summer.

1. You Can Request Airport Assistance Even If Your Child Doesn’t Use a Wheelchair

Many parents assume airport assistance is only for people with physical disabilities.

It isn’t.

Most airports offer support for:

• Autism
• ADHD
• Learning disabilities
• Hidden disabilities
• Anxiety disorders
• Sensory processing difficulties
• Mobility issues

Support may include:

• Assistance through the airport
• Priority access through security
• Help navigating terminals
• Support boarding the aircraft

Every airport operates slightly differently, so check their website before travelling.

2. The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Lanyard Can Be Helpful

Many airports participate in the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Scheme.

The lanyard discreetly indicates that someone may need extra time, patience or support.

While it doesn’t guarantee special treatment, many families find staff are more understanding when they recognise the symbol.

Some airports even offer additional support services linked to the scheme.

3. Medical Bags Are Often Free

If your child requires:

• Medication
• Feeding equipment
• Medical devices
• Specialist dietary products
• Disability-related equipment

many airlines will allow an additional medical bag free of charge.

However, policies vary between airlines.

Always contact the airline before travelling and request written confirmation where possible.

4. You May Not Need to Pay Extra to Sit Together

This is one of the most common concerns for families.

Many airlines have policies that allow reasonable adjustments where a disabled child needs a parent or carer seated nearby.

Some airlines will allocate seats together without additional charges when contacted in advance.

Don’t assume you must pay expensive seat selection fees.

Contact the airline’s special assistance team before your trip.

5. Fast Track and Priority Security May Be Available

Long queues can be incredibly challenging for some children.

Particularly those with:

• Autism
• ADHD
• PDA
• Anxiety
• Sensory sensitivities

Many airports offer:

• Fast-track security
• Dedicated assistance lanes
• Priority screening
• Alternative routes through security

These services can significantly reduce stress for both children and parents.

6. Take Copies of Important Documents

Travelling with evidence can make life easier if questions arise.

Useful documents may include:

• Diagnosis letters
• Consultant letters
• Medication information
• DLA award letters
• PIP award letters
• Blue Badge details
• EHCP documents (if relevant)

You may never need them, but having them available can be reassuring.

7. Prepare Your Child for the Airport Experience

Many children find airports overwhelming because they don’t know what to expect.

Try discussing:

• Security scanners
• Passport checks
• Boarding procedures
• Delays
• Aircraft noise
• Waiting times

Visual schedules, social stories and airport photographs can help reduce anxiety.

Many airports also provide autism-friendly guides on their websites.

8. Consider Sensory Supports

A small sensory kit can make a huge difference.

Some families pack:

• Ear defenders
• Noise-cancelling headphones
• Favourite comfort items
• Fidget toys
• Sunglasses
• Chew aids
• Familiar snacks

What seems like a small item can become a lifeline during a stressful journey.

9. Build Extra Time Into Your Plans

One of the biggest mistakes families make is planning everything too tightly.

Children may need:

• Extra toilet breaks
• Additional processing time
• Movement breaks
• Quiet spaces
• Time to recover after security

Giving yourself extra time can dramatically reduce pressure.

10. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Many parents spend years fighting for support in other areas of life.

That can make it difficult to ask for assistance.

But airports and airlines deal with disabled passengers every day.

Most staff genuinely want to help.

If your child is struggling, ask.

You may be surprised how much support is available.

Final Thoughts

Travelling with a disabled child can feel daunting.

But with the right preparation, many families find it becomes far more manageable than they expected.

The key is knowing your rights, understanding what support is available and planning ahead where possible.

Most importantly, remember this:

You know your child better than anyone.

If something would make their journey easier, it is always worth asking.

The answer might be yes.

Have a Travel Tip to Share?

What’s the best airport, airline or holiday tip you’ve discovered as a SEND parent?

Share it with other families in the comments and help make travelling a little easier for everyone.

AskEllie.co.uk