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  • 5 Signs a Girl May Have PDA (And Why It’s So Often Missed)

    Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a profile of autism that is still widely misunderstood — especially in girls. Many girls with PDA go unnoticed for years because they don’t fit the stereotypical picture of autism. Instead, they mask, comply, and hold it together… until they can’t.

    If you’ve ever felt that your daughter is coping on the outside but falling apart at home, this article is for you.

    1. She Appears Capable — Until Pressure Is Added

    One of the most confusing signs of PDA in girls is inconsistent ability.

    Your daughter might:

    • Complete tasks easily one day
    • Completely shut down the next
    • Refuse or panic when expectations are attached

    This isn’t laziness or manipulation. In PDA, demands trigger a threat response in the nervous system. Even things she wants to do can suddenly feel impossible when they’re expected.

    This often leads adults to say:

    “But she can do it when she wants to.”

    The truth is — sometimes she genuinely can’t.

    2. She’s a People-Pleaser Who Melts Down at Home

    Many girls with PDA are expert maskers.

    At school they may be:

    • Polite
    • Quiet
    • Compliant
    • Eager to please adults

    At home, they may:

    • Explode emotionally
    • Become aggressive or withdrawn
    • Appear controlling or oppositional

    This happens because home is the safe place where the nervous system finally releases everything it’s been holding in all day. It’s not that she’s worse behaved with you — it’s that she trusts you.

    3. Everyday Demands Cause Extreme Resistance

    Girls with PDA often resist ordinary, everyday demands, including:

    • Getting dressed
    • Brushing teeth or hair
    • Eating meals
    • Leaving the house
    • Going to bed

    This resistance isn’t about refusing authority. It’s about maintaining a sense of autonomy. When that autonomy feels threatened, her body reacts as if she’s in danger.

    This can look like:

    • Panic
    • Avoidance
    • Meltdowns
    • Negotiation or distraction
    • Saying “no” to everything

    4. Praise, Rewards, and Consequences Make Things Worse

    Traditional parenting and school strategies often backfire with PDA.

    Things that may increase anxiety include:

    • Sticker charts
    • Reward systems
    • Praise like “well done”
    • Consequences or sanctions
    • Being singled out

    Why? Because they add pressure.

    Even positive attention can feel like another demand — another expectation she has to live up to. Over time, this can increase avoidance and distress rather than reduce it.

    5. Big Emotions, Control Struggles, and Intense Relationships

    Girls with PDA often experience:

    • Intense emotional reactions
    • Strong need for control
    • Anxiety around fairness and injustice
    • Difficult peer relationships
    • Deep sensitivity to others’ moods

    She may come across as:

    • Bossy
    • Rigid
    • Overly emotional
    • Dramatic

    But underneath, this is usually a child who is chronically overwhelmed and trying to feel safe in a world that constantly feels too demanding.

    Why PDA in Girls Is Missed So Often

    Girls with PDA are frequently mislabelled as:

    • Anxious
    • Oppositional
    • Defiant
    • Emotionally immature
    • “Strong-willed”

    Many are diagnosed with anxiety or ADHD long before autism is ever considered — if it’s considered at all.

    But PDA isn’t a behaviour problem.
    It’s a nervous system difference.

    If This Sounds Like Your Daughter

    You’re not imagining it.
    You’re not overreacting.
    And you’re not a bad parent.

    Early understanding, low-demand approaches, and the right support can make a life-changing difference.

    If you need help explaining PDA traits to professionals, understanding your child’s rights, or navigating school support, AskEllie is here to help.

    You’re not alone — even when it feels like you are.

  • Signs You May Have Grown Up Masking Without Realising

    Many adults don’t discover they’re neurodivergent because of their own struggles —
    they discover it through their children.

    A child is diagnosed with autism, ADHD, or AuDHD…
    and suddenly, pieces of your own life start to make sense.

    This is especially common for adults who grew up in a time when neurodiversity wasn’t well understood, and support was limited to those who were visibly struggling.

    Instead of being supported, many learned to mask.

    What Is Masking?

    Masking is the unconscious act of suppressing natural traits in order to fit in, stay safe, or avoid negative attention.

    It’s not lying.
    It’s not manipulation.
    It’s a survival response.

    Many children who mask are praised — not because they’re coping well, but because they’re quiet, compliant, or easy.

    Over time, masking can become so ingrained that people don’t realise they’re doing it.

    Signs You May Have Grown Up Masking

    1. You Were the “Good” or “Easy” Child

    You didn’t cause trouble.
    You didn’t ask for help.
    You were praised for being mature, polite, or well-behaved.

    But inside, you may have felt anxious, overwhelmed, or constantly on edge.

    You learned early that staying small kept you safe.

    2. You Copied Others to Fit In

    You mirrored how people spoke, laughed, dressed, or reacted.
    Social interaction felt like following a script rather than being natural.

    This isn’t being fake — it’s learning how to survive socially without guidance.

    3. You Held It Together in Public, Then Fell Apart at Home

    School, work, or social settings took everything you had.
    At home, the mask dropped.

    This may have shown up as:

    • Meltdowns
    • Shutdowns
    • Exhaustion
    • Irritability
    • Emotional overwhelm

    Home was the only place your nervous system felt safe enough to release.

    4. You Were Labelled With Anxiety or Depression — But It Never Fully Fit

    Many masked neurodivergent adults are diagnosed with anxiety or depression, sometimes repeatedly.

    While these conditions can exist alongside neurodivergence, they often don’t explain:

    • sensory overwhelm
    • social exhaustion
    • chronic burnout
    • feeling “different” without knowing why

    The issue wasn’t weakness — it was an overloaded nervous system.

    5. You Struggle to Know What You Want or Need

    If you spent childhood prioritising others’ comfort, you may now find it hard to:

    • recognise your own needs
    • make decisions confidently
    • say no without guilt

    You became excellent at reading others — but disconnected from yourself.

    Why Many Adults Are Diagnosed Late

    Late diagnosis doesn’t mean the signs weren’t there.
    It often means you adapted too well.

    Girls, women, and quiet children are especially likely to be missed — particularly those who masked through compliance, people-pleasing, or perfectionism.

    Many adults only begin to question this when:

    • their child is diagnosed
    • they reach burnout
    • parenting becomes overwhelming
    • life demands exceed their coping capacity

    You Weren’t Broken — You Adapted

    If this resonates, it’s important to know:

    You weren’t difficult.
    You weren’t dramatic.
    You weren’t failing.

    You adapted in a world that didn’t understand neurodiversity.

    Understanding masking can be the first step toward self-compassion, appropriate support, and healing long-term burnout.

    You don’t need to prove your experience.
    And you don’t need to keep masking to be worthy of support.

  • Swearing and Autism: Why It Happens (And Why It’s Not What You Think)

    Swearing in autistic and PDA children can be shocking, distressing, and deeply misunderstood.
    Parents are often told it’s bad behaviour, poor boundaries, or lack of discipline.

    But for many neurodivergent children, swearing is not a choice — it’s communication, regulation, and nervous system release.

    Understanding why it happens changes how we respond — and often reduces it over time.

    Swearing Is Often a Nervous System Response

    Autistic and PDA children live with a heightened threat response. Their brains are constantly scanning for danger — sensory overload, demands, social pressure, unpredictability.

    When the nervous system becomes overwhelmed, the brain shifts into fight / flight / freeze.

    In this state:

    • The thinking brain goes offline
    • Language becomes impulsive
    • Emotional regulation collapses

    Swearing can emerge as a verbal stress response, similar to shouting, crying, or physical stimming.

    It is not intentional rudeness.

    Common Reasons Autistic Children Swear

    1. Impulse Control Differences

    Autistic and ADHD brains process inhibition differently. Words can come out before the child has time to filter them, especially under stress.

    This is neurological, not behavioural.

    2. Emotional Release

    Strong language carries emotional weight. For some children, swearing provides instant relief when feelings become too big to manage internally.

    Think of it as:

    • A pressure valve
    • A verbal stim
    • A stress discharge

    3. Echolalia and Language Repetition

    Many autistic children repeat words or phrases they’ve heard — including swear words — without intent or understanding of social meaning.

    They may be:

    • Repeating tone, rhythm, or emotional intensity
    • Practising language patterns
    • Using words that feel powerful or regulating

    4. Boundary Testing for Safety

    Especially in PDA profiles, swearing can be a way to:

    • Regain control
    • Push away perceived demands
    • Test whether an adult response feels safe or threatening

    This is not manipulation — it’s survival behaviour.

    5. Masking Collapse at Home

    Many autistic children hold it together all day in school or public spaces.

    Home is where the mask drops.

    Swearing at home but not outside often means:

    • Your child feels safest with you
    • Their nervous system finally releases
    • They no longer have energy to suppress impulses

    This can feel deeply personal — but it’s actually a sign of trust.

    Why Punishment Often Makes It Worse

    Traditional behaviour strategies assume:

    • The child has control
    • The behaviour is deliberate
    • Consequences will teach restraint

    For autistic children, punishment:

    • Increases threat
    • Escalates nervous system arousal
    • Reinforces shame
    • Can intensify swearing, not stop it

    You cannot discipline a nervous system into regulation.

    What Helps Instead

    ✔ Regulate First, Correct Later (or Not at All)

    When swearing happens during distress:

    • Reduce demands
    • Lower your voice
    • Avoid lectures
    • Focus on safety, not manners

    Correction works only when the child is calm.

    ✔ Separate Emotion From Language

    You can acknowledge feelings without approving words:

    “I can hear how upset you are. Let’s help your body calm down.”

    This teaches emotional literacy without escalating threat.

    ✔ Model Alternative Language (Without Pressure)

    Offer options later:

    • “That was a big feeling”
    • “You sounded really overwhelmed”
    • “Next time we can try different words”

    But avoid forcing replacements in the moment.

    ✔ Look at the Triggers, Not the Words

    Ask:

    • Was there a demand?
    • Sensory overload?
    • Transition?
    • Loss of control?

    Reducing triggers often reduces swearing naturally.

    When to Seek Support

    If swearing:

    • Is escalating
    • Becomes unsafe
    • Is linked to extreme distress or shutdown
    • Is being punished at school without understanding

    It may indicate unmet needs, burnout, or the need for adjustments — not stricter discipline.

    The Takeaway

    Swearing in autistic and PDA children is rarely about disrespect.

    It is more often:

    • A stress signal
    • A regulation tool
    • A nervous system response
    • A sign of feeling safe enough to unmask

    Your child is not trying to shock you.

    They are trying to cope.

    And when we respond with understanding instead of punishment, we teach them something far more powerful than silence:

    They are safe, even when they struggle.

  • PIP & DLA Freebies and Discounts Disabled People Can Claim in 2026

    If you or your child receive PIP (Personal Independence Payment) or DLA (Disability Living Allowance), you may be entitled to far more support than you’ve been told about.

    Many disabled people and SEND families miss out on freebies, discounts, and financial help simply because no one explains what’s available — or how to apply.

    This guide breaks down the key entitlements you can claim in 2026, in simple terms.

    These Are Not “Perks” — They Are Entitlements

    Living with disability costs more.
    That’s why these supports exist.

    You are not “taking advantage” by using them — you are accessing help designed to level the playing field.

    1. Free or Discounted Travel

    If you receive PIP or DLA, you may be eligible for:

    • Blue Badge (depending on your mobility award)
    • Disabled Person’s Railcard
      – ⅓ off rail travel
      – Discount for a companion or carer
    • Free or reduced bus travel (varies by local authority)

    These are not automatic — you usually need to apply.

    2. Free Carer or Companion Entry

    Disability often means you can’t attend places alone — and that shouldn’t mean paying double.

    With PIP or DLA you can access:

    • Free cinema carer tickets (via the CEA Card)
    • Free companion entry at many attractions, theatres, and events
    • Reduced prices for carers at leisure venues

    This removes one of the biggest hidden costs disabled families face.

    3. Council Tax Reductions

    Many disabled people and SEND families qualify for Council Tax support and don’t realise it.

    You may be entitled if:

    • Your home has been adapted for disability
    • You need extra space because of disability
    • You or your child require specialist equipment or rooms

    This can mean:

    • A Council Tax reduction
    • Or a band reduction (paying less permanently)

    4. Discounted Days Out for SEND Families

    Some of the most valuable supports for families include:

    • MAX Card – discounted days out for families of disabled children
    • Access Card – recognised proof of access needs at venues and events

    These cards reduce:

    • Financial pressure
    • Stress of explaining needs
    • Barriers to family activities

    They can save families hundreds of pounds a year.

    5. Help With Food, Energy & Essentials

    Even if you work, you may still be eligible for extra help, including:

    • Household Support Fund vouchers (food, energy, essentials)
    • Emergency energy support
    • White goods grants (fridge, washing machine, cooker)

    Eligibility depends on circumstances — not just income.

    Many families are wrongly told they “don’t qualify”.

    6. Grants for Equipment and Technology

    Charities and support schemes can help fund:

    • iPads or laptops (especially for disabled children)
    • Sensory equipment
    • Specialist clothing or aids
    • Communication tools

    These are often available to families receiving DLA or individuals on PIP.

    Why So Many Families Miss Out

    Most of this information:

    • Isn’t explained by the DWP
    • Isn’t shared by schools
    • Isn’t proactively offered by councils

    Parents usually find out through other parents — not professionals.

    That’s a system failure, not a personal one.

    How AskEllie Can Help

    At AskEllie, we help families:

    • Understand what they’re entitled to
    • Find the right applications and wording
    • Challenge incorrect refusals
    • Navigate benefits without jargon or judgment

    Any paid support helps fund free resources for other families — so no one is left behind.

    You’re Not Asking for Too Much

    You’re asking for:

    • Fair access
    • Reduced financial pressure
    • A life that’s just a little easier to manage

    And you deserve that support.

    If you want help checking what applies to your situation, or where to start — we’re try our AskEllie+ & Benefit Ellie

  • 5 Things That Make Life Easier for SEND Families and Disabled People

    Raising a disabled child or navigating life as a disabled adult is exhausting enough — without having to fight systems, explain yourself repeatedly, or pay more just to access the same experiences as everyone else.

    There are supports available that don’t fix everything — but they do make everyday life a little easier, cheaper, and less stressful. The problem? Most families are never told about them.

    Here are five practical things every SEND family and disabled person in the UK should know about.

    1. The CEA Card (Cinema Exhibitors’ Association Card)

    The CEA Card allows a disabled person to take a carer for free to the cinema.

    This means:

    • You buy one ticket
    • A carer or support person enters at no extra cost
    • No need to explain personal details to staff

    For families who already face higher costs — this removes one small but meaningful barrier to doing something “normal”.

    Who it’s for:
    Disabled adults or children who need support to attend the cinema

    2. The Access Card

    The Access Card is recognised by venues, attractions, theatres, festivals, and events across the UK.

    Instead of explaining your needs again and again, the card uses symbols to show:

    • Need for a carer ticket
    • Queue support
    • Seating access
    • Quiet space needs
    • Sensory considerations

    This reduces stress, anxiety, and confrontation — especially for invisible disabilities.

    Who it’s for:
    Disabled people who attend events, attractions, or public venues

    3. The National Disability Card

    The National Disability Card provides recognised proof of disability in everyday situations.

    It can help with:

    • Transport
    • Shops
    • Leisure venues
    • Customer services

    It’s not about “proving” disability — it’s about reducing constant questioning and judgment.

    Who it’s for:
    Disabled adults and young people who regularly face challenges being believed

    4. The MAX Card

    The MAX Card is one of the most valuable — and least talked about — resources for SEND families.

    It offers:

    • Discounted days out
    • Reduced entry to attractions
    • Holiday activities at lower cost

    This can save families hundreds of pounds a year, particularly during school holidays when SEND families often feel priced out of activities.

    Who it’s for:
    Families of disabled children and children with additional needs

    5. Your Local SEND Offer (Often Missed, But Crucial)

    Every local authority has a SEND Local Offer — but most parents are never shown how to use it.

    Inside, you may find:

    • Free or subsidised activities
    • Short breaks and respite
    • Family support services
    • Grants and local funding
    • Mental health and wellbeing support

    It’s not always easy to navigate — but it can unlock help you didn’t know existed.

    Who it’s for:
    Any family with a child with SEND — diagnosed or not

    Why Families Aren’t Told About These

    Many parents only discover these supports years later, often through other parents on social media — not schools, councils, or professionals.

    That’s not your fault.

    The system is fragmented, overstretched, and often unclear — which is exactly why families feel exhausted, isolated, and overwhelmed.

    How AskEllie Can Help

    At AskEllie, we help families:

    • Find out what they’re entitled to
    • Understand their rights
    • Navigate benefits, education, and support
    • Get clear, human explanations — not jargon

    Every paid support request helps us build free resources for other families, so no one feels as alone navigating this system.

  • Why Bedtime Stories Matter More Than You Think

    And the 10 books that support children’s brains, emotions, and connection

    Bedtime is often seen as the final hurdle of the day — teeth brushed, pyjamas on, lights out. But psychologists and child development experts are increasingly clear on this:

    What happens in the minutes before sleep can shape how a child’s brain develops, regulates emotions, and feels safe in the world.

    Reading a bedtime story isn’t just about literacy. It’s about nervous system regulation, emotional development, and connection — especially for children who are neurodivergent.

    What psychology tells us about bedtime stories

    As children wind down for sleep, their brains move from a high-alert, busy state into a calmer one. This is when the brain is most receptive to:

    • emotional learning
    • language absorption
    • memory consolidation
    • feelings of safety and attachment

    When a trusted adult reads aloud, the child’s nervous system receives a powerful message: you are safe, you are connected, and the day is complete.

    For many children — particularly those with autism, ADHD, PDA, anxiety, or sensory sensitivities — this sense of safety is essential. Their nervous systems often stay activated long after the day ends, and bedtime can be a trigger rather than a comfort.

    A familiar story, read in a predictable way, helps the brain downshift.

    Why this matters even more for SEND children

    Neurodivergent children often experience:

    • heightened anxiety at night
    • difficulty transitioning from activity to rest
    • sensory overload
    • racing thoughts or emotional “spillover” from the day

    Bedtime stories can help by:

    • providing structure and predictability
    • reducing cognitive load
    • supporting language development without pressure
    • building emotional understanding through characters
    • strengthening attachment through shared calm

    Importantly, it doesn’t matter if the same book is read every night. Repetition is regulating, not boring, for many SEND children.

    It’s not about reading “correctly”

    You don’t need to ask questions, analyse the story, or make it educational.

    What matters most is:

    • your voice
    • your presence
    • the shared moment
    • the routine

    Even children who don’t appear to be listening are often absorbing far more than we realise.

    10 bedtime books that support development and regulation

    These books are widely loved by parents and children and support emotional, cognitive, and relational development:

    1. The Gruffalo – Julia Donaldson
      Predictable rhythm, humour, and problem-solving build language and confidence.
    2. The Gruffalo’s Child – Julia Donaldson
      Explores fear, bravery, and reassurance in a safe, familiar structure.
    3. Guess How Much I Love You – Sam McBratney
      Supports attachment, reassurance, and emotional connection.
    4. We’re Going on a Bear Hunt – Michael Rosen
      Repetition and rhythm help regulate sensory and emotional processing.
    5. The Tiger Who Came to Tea – Judith Kerr
      Encourages imagination, flexibility, and emotional understanding.
    6. Room on the Broom – Julia Donaldson
      Explores inclusion, friendship, and cooperation.
    7. The Colour Monster – Anna Llenas
      Helps children identify and understand emotions.
    8. Owl Babies – Martin Waddell
      A powerful story for separation anxiety and reassurance.
    9. Peace at Last – Jill Murphy
      Especially validating for children who struggle with sleep.
    10. Where the Wild Things Are – Maurice Sendak
      Supports emotional expression, anger, and safe return to connection.

    The long-term impact

    Over time, these small nightly moments help children develop:

    • emotional literacy
    • resilience
    • empathy
    • trust in relationships
    • healthier sleep patterns

    They also give parents something invaluable: connection without conflict at the end of the day.

    A gentle reminder for parents

    If bedtime feels hard right now, that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

    You don’t need to fix sleep.
    You don’t need to fix behaviour.
    You don’t need to fix your child.

    Sometimes, the most powerful support is simply being there, reading a story, and ending the day with safety.

  • When Kids “Misbehave” At Home But Act Perfect Everywhere Else — Here’s What It Really Means

    One of the most common things parents hear is:
    “They’re absolutely fine at school.”

    Yet at home, it’s a very different story.
    Meltdowns. Anger. Tears. Shutdowns. Explosions over seemingly small things.

    This contrast often leaves parents feeling confused, judged, or blamed.
    But there is a clear psychological explanation — and it’s not bad parenting.

    Children Behave Differently Where They Feel Safest

    Psychologists have long recognised a pattern where children appear regulated and compliant in public settings, yet struggle intensely at home.

    This isn’t coincidence.

    School requires children to:

    • Sit still for long periods
    • Follow constant instructions
    • Manage noise, transitions, and social rules
    • Suppress emotions to “cope”

    For neurodivergent children — including those with autism, ADHD, PDA, or anxiety — this effort is exhausting.

    By the time they get home, their nervous system is overloaded.

    Home Is Not Where Children Perform — It’s Where They Unload

    At home, something important happens.

    Your child’s brain recognises safety.

    The moment they see their parent or caregiver, their body shifts from survival mode into release. Stress hormones that were held in all day begin to spill out.

    What looks like:

    • Rudeness
    • Aggression
    • Defiance
    • Emotional outbursts

    Is often nervous system release, not poor behaviour.

    In other words:
    They fall apart where they know they won’t be abandoned.

    Why Punishment Often Makes Things Worse

    When children are already dysregulated, traditional discipline can backfire.

    Constant correction teaches children to mask emotions rather than process them. Over time, this can lead to:

    • Increased anxiety
    • Burnout
    • Emotional shutdown
    • Behaviour escalating rather than improving

    Research consistently shows that regulation develops through co-regulation, not punishment.

    A calm adult nervous system helps a child’s nervous system settle.

    “If Your Child Explodes With You, You Are Home Base”

    Many therapists use this phrase for a reason.

    Children don’t release big emotions with people they don’t trust. They do it with the people they believe will still love them afterwards.

    That doesn’t mean boundaries aren’t important — they are.
    But boundaries work best when paired with safety, understanding, and regulation.

    What This Means for Parents

    If your child behaves worse at home than anywhere else:

    • You are not failing
    • Your child is not manipulative
    • You have not “caused” the behaviour

    You are the place where their nervous system feels safe enough to stop holding it all in.

    For SEND families especially, recognising this pattern can help shift conversations with schools, professionals, and even ourselves — away from blame and towards support.

    If you’re navigating school anxiety, masking, or emotional burnout in your child, you’re not alone.
    At AskEllie, we help families understand what’s really happening — and what support you’re entitled to when systems don’t see the full picture.

    👉 Visit AskEllie.co.uk for clear guidance, rights-based support, and reassurance that you’re not imagining this.

  • Benefits Are Increasing From April: What the 2026 DWP Changes Really Mean for YouDebrah

    Millions of people claiming benefits or the state pension will see their payments increase from April. The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has now confirmed the new rates — but headlines don’t always explain what this actually means for families trying to make ends meet.

    This post breaks it down clearly, with a focus on Universal Credit, child-related payments, and disability benefits, and what these changes could mean in real terms.

    Why Are Benefits Increasing?

    Each year, many benefits are adjusted in line with inflation to reflect the rising cost of living.

    From April:

    • Some benefits will increase by 3.8%
    • Others by 2.3%
    • The state pension will rise by 4.8%

    These increases are automatic — you do not need to reapply.

    Universal Credit: New Monthly Rates From April

    Universal Credit is a means-tested benefit. What you receive depends on your income, savings, household makeup, and additional elements such as disability or housing costs.

    From April, the standard monthly allowance will increase to:

    • Single person under 25:
      £338.58 (up from £316.98)
    • Single person aged 25 or over:
      £424.90 (up from £400.14)
    • Joint claimants both under 25:
      £528.34 (up from £497.50)
    • Joint claimants both aged 25 or over:
      £666.97 (up from £628.10)

    These figures are the base rate — before child elements, disability elements, or housing support are added.

    A Major Change for Parents: The End of the Two-Child Benefit Cap

    One of the most significant changes for families is the end of the two-child benefit cap.

    Until now, families on Universal Credit could only receive child elements for two children, even if they had more. From April, this restriction will be removed.

    New Child Element Rates

    • £351.88 per month for a first child born before 6 April 2017
    • £303.94 per month for any other child

    This change will particularly affect larger families and SEND households who were previously excluded from support for additional children.

    Attendance Allowance: New Weekly Rates

    Attendance Allowance is for people over state pension age who need help with personal care due to illness or disability.

    It is not means-tested, which means savings and income do not affect eligibility.

    From April:

    • Higher rate: £114.60 per week (up from £110.40)
    • Lower rate: £76.70 per week (up from £73.90)

    Attendance Allowance can also increase entitlement to other support, including help with council tax or carers’ benefits.

    Will These Increases Make Families Better Off?

    While these rises are welcome, many families — especially SEND families — may still feel under pressure due to:

    • Rising food and energy costs
    • Increased care and disability-related expenses
    • Reduced access to local support services

    For some households, the increase may only offset part of these rising costs.

    What You Should Do Now

    • Check your entitlement: Many people are eligible for support but aren’t claiming.
    • Review your award notice in April: Make sure the new rates have been applied correctly.
    • Seek advice if your circumstances have changed: This includes caring responsibilities, disability, or changes to household income.

    Need Help Understanding What You’re Entitled To?

    The benefits system is complex — and often unclear by design.

    At AskEllie, we help families and disabled people:

    • Understand benefit changes
    • Check what they may be entitled to
    • Make sense of confusing DWP letters
    • Access support without jargon or judgement

    👉 Visit AskEllie.co.uk for clear, practical guidance.

  • Toddlers’ Ability to Speak Is Affected by Screen Time – What the Research Really Means for SEND Families

    Recent headlines have reported that toddlers’ ability to speak may be damaged by screen time. For many parents — especially those already supporting children with additional needs — this kind of news can feel alarming, guilt-inducing, or confusing.

    So what does the research actually say? And what does it really mean for SEND families?

    Let’s break it down clearly and compassionately.

    What the Research Is Saying (In Plain English)

    Studies looking at toddlers and screen use are not claiming that screens are “bad” or that screen time causes developmental conditions such as autism or ADHD.

    What researchers have found is this:

    • Higher levels of passive screen time in toddlers are associated with:
      • Smaller vocabularies
      • Fewer spoken words
      • Fewer back-and-forth conversations
    • Toddlers learn language best through real human interaction, not passive watching.

    In simple terms:
    👉 When screens replace conversation, play, and interaction, language development can be affected.

    Why This Matters Even More for SEND Families

    For many neurodivergent children — including autistic children, children with ADHD, sensory processing differences, or speech delays — communication development can already be more complex.

    This means:

    • They may need more repetition, not less
    • They benefit from slower, responsive interaction
    • Their brains often learn language differently

    When screen time becomes the main source of stimulation — especially when used alone — it can reduce opportunities for the kind of interaction these children need most.

    Importantly:
    📌 Screen time does not cause autism or ADHD
    📌 Screens are not “to blame”
    📌 The issue is what screens replace, not their existence

    Why Screens Can Be So Appealing (And That’s Not a Failure)

    For many SEND families, screens are:

    • Regulating
    • Predictable
    • Calming
    • A way to manage overwhelm

    And in some cases — such as AAC use, visual supports, or co-viewed learning — screens can actually support communication.

    The problem isn’t using screens.
    The problem is relying on passive, unsupervised screen time in place of interaction during critical developmental years.

    What Actually Helps Speech and Communication Development

    Research consistently shows that toddlers develop language through interactive experiences, such as:

    • Talking during daily routines
    • Naming objects, actions, and feelings
    • Reading books together (even briefly)
    • Singing songs and nursery rhymes
    • Playing and taking turns
    • Responding when your child communicates — verbally or non-verbally

    Even small moments of connection matter more than long structured activities.

    Practical, Realistic Tips for Parents

    This doesn’t need to be all-or-nothing. For SEND families especially, balance matters.

    Helpful approaches include:

    1. Co-view screens when possible
    Talk about what’s happening on the screen. Pause and comment. Ask simple questions.

    2. Narrate daily life
    You don’t need special activities — just describe what you’re doing as you go.

    3. Use screens intentionally
    Choose content that invites interaction rather than passive watching.

    4. Reduce background screen noise
    TV playing constantly in the background reduces language exposure even if your child isn’t “watching.”

    5. Trust your instincts
    If screens are helping your child regulate, that matters — but try to balance this with interaction when possible.

    A Final Word for Parents

    This research is not about blaming parents or creating fear.

    It’s about understanding that:

    • Toddlers’ brains grow through interaction
    • Screens can quietly replace those moments if we’re not careful
    • SEND children may need even more support, not less

    If you’re doing your best in a system that doesn’t always support families — you’re not failing.

    Small changes, gentle awareness, and connection go a long way.

    You are not doing it wrong.
    You’re learning, adapting, and responding to your child — and that matters.

  • Toddlers’ Ability to Speak Is Affected by Screen Time — Here’s What Parents Need to Know

    Recent research and government data in the UK have highlighted increasing concerns over the impact of screen time on young children’s language development — including toddlers’ ability to speak and build vocabulary. While screens are now a huge part of family life, evidence suggests that too much passive screen use can interfere with the early years when language skills are rapidly developing.

    More Screen Time, Fewer Words

    UK government research shows that nearly all two-year-olds are using screens every day, with an average of over two hours of screen time — more than double what the World Health Organization recommends for under-fives. Children with the highest screen exposure were found to have smaller vocabularies compared with those with lower screen use.

    Experts warn that this doesn’t just mean less speech while watching screens; it’s also that screen time often replaces other critical developmental interactions — like talking, playing, and reading — that are essential for growing communication skills.

    What Research Shows

    Beyond this UK data, multiple studies around the world support the idea that excessive screen exposure in early childhood is linked to poorer language skills:

    • A review of research on screen time and child language development found that higher screen use and earlier exposure are associated with negative effects on language development, especially in toddlers.
    • Studies have found that when screen time displaces parent-child interaction and conversation, toddlers hear fewer adult words and take fewer opportunities to practise speaking. One cohort study found that for each additional minute of screen time, children engaged in fewer conversational turns — which are crucial for early language growth.
    • Other research suggests that children who spend two hours or more a day on devices show poorer scores on language development tests and a higher likelihood of language comprehension and expressive language difficulties compared with peers with less screen exposure.

    Why Screen Time Affects Speech

    There are a few reasons experts think screen use can hold back toddlers’ speech:

    1. Reduced real-world interactions — Talking and responding in real human conversation is one of the strongest drivers of language development. Screen time often reduces these opportunities.
    2. Passive learning isn’t enough — Toddlers learn language by hearing and using words in back-and-forth engagement. Screens don’t respond the way a caregiver does, so learning can be limited.
    3. Displacing active play and reading time — Language doesn’t develop in isolation; it grows through shared attention, play, and rich verbal interaction — all of which can be crowded out by screen use.

    What Parents Can Do

    Complete avoidance of screens isn’t realistic for most families — and in some cases, co-viewing or interactive apps can be part of healthy use. However, these tips are supported by research and expert guidance:

    • Limit passive screen time — especially under age 2 or when it replaces talking and playing with caregivers.
    • Prioritise face-to-face interaction — read books, narrate routines, and talk back and forth with your toddler.
    • Use screens together — when screen time does happen, be present and talk about what you’re watching rather than letting the child watch alone.

    Final Thoughts

    Screen time isn’t inherently “bad,” but the amount and context matter — especially in toddlers when language skills are developing quickly. Evidence suggests that more screen time is associated with smaller vocabularies and delayed speech milestones, likely because it replaces the very interactions that fuel early language growth.

    Understanding this can help parents make informed choices about how and when screens are used, and support their child’s speech development at this critical age.