For many parents of children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND), one of the biggest fears is this:
“If my child can’t go to school, am I going to be fined or prosecuted?”
That fear is often reinforced by letters about attendance, threats of fines, or even warnings of court action — sometimes at the very moment families are already at breaking point.
Here’s the truth that often gets lost:
You do not automatically break the law because your SEND child can’t cope with school.
And you are not expected to force your child into crisis to prove you’re a ‘good parent’.
When a Child Can’t Attend School, It’s Not Truancy
Attendance law is frequently misunderstood.
There is an important difference between:
- a child who will not attend school, and
- a child who cannot attend school due to anxiety, distress, trauma, or unmet SEND.
If your child is genuinely unable to attend, that is not wilful non-attendance.
Forcing a child into school when they are overwhelmed, distressed, or psychologically unsafe is not only harmful — it can escalate trauma and delay recovery.
You Do NOT Need Medical Evidence to Be Protected
One of the most damaging myths parents are told is that they must provide:
- a diagnosis
- a CAMHS letter
- or a medical professional’s report
before the school or local authority can act.
This is not true.
Evidence of need can include:
- school observations
- behaviour logs
- attendance records
- incident reports
- emails between you and the school
- your own written account of what is happening at home
Waiting lists, delayed assessments, or lack of diagnosis do not remove your child’s needs — or your legal protection.
The Local Authority Still Has a Duty to Educate
If your child cannot attend school, responsibility does not disappear.
Under Section 19 of the Education Act, the local authority has a duty to arrange suitable education for children who cannot attend school because of:
- illness
- anxiety or mental health difficulties
- exclusion
- or other reasons preventing attendance
This education must be:
- suitable to your child’s age and ability
- appropriate to their SEND
- provided without unnecessary delay
Home welfare checks alone are not enough.
If your child cannot access school, the question should not be:
“Why aren’t you sending them?”
but:
“What education is being put in place instead?”
If You Are in Crisis Too, That Matters
Many parents are pushed to breaking point while trying to hold everything together.
Parental mental health struggles, exhaustion, or breakdown are not reasons for prosecution.
They are safeguarding concerns.
If you are unwell, overwhelmed, or unable to cope, that should trigger support, not punishment.
Schools and local authorities have duties not only to children, but to families under strain.
What Actually Protects You From Fines
Parents are most at risk when communication breaks down — not when they ask for help.
Practical steps that protect you include:
- Keeping everything in writing
- Clearly stating your child cannot attend, rather than will not attend
- Explaining the impact attendance is having on your child’s wellbeing
- Asking what support or alternative education is being put in place
- Responding calmly and consistently, even when under pressure
Silence is often interpreted as disengagement. Documentation is protection.
When Attendance Pressure Becomes Unlawful
Threats of fines or prosecution while:
- needs are unmet
- assessments are ongoing
- support is absent
- or a child is clearly distressed
may be inappropriate and, in some cases, unlawful.
Attendance enforcement should never replace SEND support.
If you are being pressured while your child is in crisis, it is reasonable — and necessary — to challenge that approach.
A Reassuring Final Word
You are not failing because your child can’t cope.
You are responding to their reality.
Protecting your child’s wellbeing — and your own — is not neglect. It is responsible parenting.
You do not keep yourself safe by forcing attendance. You keep yourself safe by documenting need, communicating clearly, and insisting on support.
If you are navigating attendance pressure, threats of fines, or feel unsure about your rights, you do not have to do this alone.
AskEllie exists to help families understand their legal position, their options, and their next steps — calmly and clearly.
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