When your child develops EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance), everything can unravel very quickly.
School mornings become battles.
Phone calls from school increase.
Meetings are scheduled.
You’re leaving work early.
You’re using annual leave just to get through the week.
And then the fear hits:
“What if I lose my job?”
“How will we afford this?”
If you’re in this position right now, take a breath.
You are not alone — and there is support available.
First: You Are Not Failing
EBSA is not “bad behaviour.”
It is usually rooted in:
- Anxiety
- Undiagnosed autism or ADHD
- PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)
- Sensory overload
- Trauma or unmet SEND needs
When a child cannot attend school due to overwhelming anxiety, parents are often forced into impossible positions.
But the system does not expect you to carry this alone.
If Your Work Is Being Affected
1️⃣ Employment Rights You Should Know About
If you are employed, you may be entitled to:
Flexible Working
You can request changes to:
- Start/finish times
- Remote working
- Reduced hours
- Compressed hours
Employers must consider requests reasonably.
Time Off for Dependants
You are legally entitled to take unpaid time off to deal with unexpected issues involving your child.
EBSA crises can fall under this.
Carer’s Leave
As of April 2024, eligible employees can take up to one week of unpaid carer’s leave per year for dependants with long-term care needs.
Sick Leave
If your own mental health is affected (which is common), you may be signed off by your GP and receive Statutory Sick Pay.
Your wellbeing matters too.
If You Reduce Hours or Leave Work
This is where financial anxiety often spikes.
Here are benefits many parents don’t realise they may qualify for.
2️⃣ Disability Living Allowance (DLA) for Children
You do not need a formal diagnosis to apply.
DLA is based on:
- Care needs
- Supervision needs
- Mobility needs
If your child requires more care or supervision than a typical child of the same age, you can apply.
Many EBSA children qualify due to anxiety-related supervision needs.
3️⃣ Carer’s Allowance
If your child receives:
- Middle or High Rate Care DLA
You may be able to claim Carer’s Allowance if you provide at least 35 hours of care per week and earn below the earnings threshold.
4️⃣ Universal Credit
If your income reduces or stops, Universal Credit may:
- Top up income
- Include a disabled child element
- Include a carer element
Even working parents can qualify if income drops.
5️⃣ Council Tax Reduction
If income reduces, you may qualify for local authority Council Tax reduction.
This is often overlooked.
6️⃣ Free School Meals & Other Support
Lower household income may mean eligibility for:
- Free school meals
- Uniform grants
- Local hardship funds
Ask your local council directly.
Education Duties Still Apply
This is critical.
If your child cannot attend school due to anxiety or unmet need:
The local authority still has a duty under Section 19 of the Education Act 1996 to provide suitable education.
That might include:
- Alternative provision
- Home tutoring
- Hybrid timetables
- Specialist input
You should not be forced to give up work because provision isn’t in place.
The Emotional Toll on Parents
Parents in EBSA situations often experience:
- Sleep deprivation
- Work anxiety
- Financial fear
- Isolation
- Burnout
You are juggling employment and crisis parenting.
That is not sustainable without support.
What To Do Next
If you are in this situation right now:
1️⃣ Speak to your employer early.
2️⃣ Document all school communication.
3️⃣ Consider applying for DLA even if diagnosis is pending.
4️⃣ Seek advice before resigning from work.
5️⃣ Ask your local authority about Section 19 provision.
And most importantly:
Do not make financial decisions in panic.
There are routes forward.
Final Thought
EBSA does not just affect attendance.
It affects family income, parental mental health, employment stability, and long-term security.
But you are not the only family walking this path.
And there are systems — imperfect as they may be — designed to support you.
You deserve stability while your child receives the support they need.
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