What SEND Parents Need to Know
If you’re a parent of a child with SEND, you’ve probably heard things from school that just don’t sit right.
Statements like:
- “They need a diagnosis first”
- “We don’t have funding”
- “Let’s wait and see”
These phrases are incredibly common — and they often leave parents feeling stuck, confused, and unsure what to do next.
The truth is, many of these statements are not legally accurate.
In this post, we’ll break down what schools say — and what the law actually says.
🚫 “They need a diagnosis first”
This is one of the biggest misconceptions.
Your child does not need a diagnosis to receive support.
Under the SEND Code of Practice, support is based on identified needs, not medical labels.
If your child is struggling with:
- Anxiety
- Sensory needs
- Communication
- Behaviour linked to unmet needs
👉 The school should already be putting support in place.
Waiting for a diagnosis can delay help by months or even years — and that delay can make things worse.
🚫 “We don’t have funding”
This can make parents feel guilty — like they’re asking for too much.
But here’s the reality:
👉 Funding is not your responsibility.
Schools and Local Authorities have a duty to ensure your child receives an education that meets their needs.
If a school cannot meet those needs within their resources, that is evidence that additional support (such as an EHCP) may be required.
🚫 “Let’s wait and see”
This is often said with good intentions — but it can be very damaging.
When a child is struggling, “waiting” usually means:
- Increased anxiety
- More school avoidance
- Greater emotional distress
👉 Needs don’t improve by being ignored.
Early action is key.
🚫 “They’re fine at school”
This is where masking comes in.
Many children:
- Hold everything in during the school day
- Appear to cope
- Then completely dysregulate at home
This does not mean they are fine.
👉 It means they are using all their energy to survive the day.
And that absolutely counts when considering support.
⚖️ What the law actually says
Your child is entitled to:
✔ Support based on need (not diagnosis)
✔ An education that is suitable for them
✔ Reasonable adjustments in school
✔ Additional support where required
If a school cannot meet your child’s needs, the next step may be:
👉 Requesting an EHCP assessment
💬 Why parents feel stuck
Many parents tell us:
- “I didn’t know I could challenge this”
- “I thought the school was right”
- “I didn’t want to push too much”
And that’s completely understandable.
The system is complex — and schools often speak with confidence, which can make it feel like there’s no alternative.
But you do have options.
🧭 What you can do next
If you’ve been told any of the above, consider:
👉 Putting your concerns in writing
👉 Asking what support is currently in place
👉 Requesting evidence of how needs are being met
👉 Considering an EHCP assessment request
🤝 Need help with what to say?
Knowing your rights is one thing.
Knowing how to say it, how to challenge, and what to do next is another.
That’s where many parents struggle — and it’s exactly what we help with.
If you need support:
👉 Visit AskEllie.co.uk
We offer clear guidance, templates, and one-to-one support to help you move forward with confidence.
💡 Final thought
If something doesn’t feel right…
👉 trust that feeling
Because more often than not, parents are right — they just haven’t been given the full picture.