AskEllie.co.uk

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  • SEND Reforms, Deleted Posts, and Why Parents Are Concerned

    There’s been a lot of conversation recently around proposed changes to the SEND system — and many parents are feeling uneasy.

    Part of that concern has come from a Department for Education post that was later removed after strong reactions from families.

    So what’s actually going on? And why does it matter?

    What Was Being Discussed?

    The content shared by the Department for Education outlined elements of potential SEND reform, including:

    • New types of support plans (such as ISPs)
    • A focus on earlier intervention
    • Greater responsibility placed on schools to meet needs
    • Changes to how support is delivered day-to-day

    On the surface, much of this sounds positive.

    More support. Earlier help. Less conflict.

    But for many parents, the concern isn’t what’s being promised — it’s what might be lost.

    Why Are Parents Worried?

    The biggest concern comes down to one key issue:

    👉 Legal protection

    At the moment, Education, Health and Care Plans (EHCPs) are legally enforceable.

    That means:

    • The support written in Section F must be delivered
    • Parents have the right to challenge decisions
    • There is a clear legal framework holding local authorities accountable

    What Could Change?

    Some of the discussion around reforms suggests a possible shift:

    • From legally enforceable plans
    • To more flexible, school-led support systems

    This might include plans like ISPs (Individual Support Plans), which could outline support — but may not carry the same legal weight as an EHCP.

    Why This Matters

    For many families, the current system is already difficult to navigate.

    Parents often have to:

    • fight for assessments
    • challenge decisions
    • and push to get support in place

    The legal protections within EHCPs are often the only thing ensuring children receive what they need.

    So naturally, any suggestion that those protections could be reduced raises serious concern.

    The Reality Behind the Reaction

    The reaction from parents hasn’t come from nowhere.

    It comes from lived experience.

    Many families already feel:

    • unheard
    • unsupported
    • and forced to battle for basic provision

    So when reforms are discussed — especially without clear reassurance — it can feel like those challenges may increase, not decrease.

    What Parents Should Do Now

    At this stage, it’s important to stay informed, not overwhelmed.

    Here’s what you can do:

    ✔ Stay aware

    Follow updates and understand what is being proposed.

    ✔ Ask questions

    If something isn’t clear, seek clarification — especially around legal rights.

    ✔ Keep records

    If your child already has support in place, keep everything documented.

    ✔ Don’t assume change is immediate

    Many proposals take time and may change before being implemented.

    Final Thought

    This isn’t about panic.

    It’s about understanding what’s happening and what it could mean for your child.

    Because when it comes to SEND support, knowledge really is power.

    If you want help understanding your rights, your child’s support, or what steps to take next, come by and see us at AskEllie.co.uk — we’re here to help you make sense of it.

  • If Your Child Hasn’t Been in School for Weeks — What You Need to Know

    If your child hasn’t been in school for weeks, it can feel like everything is stuck.

    You may be getting messages like:

    • “Give it time”
    • “We’re working on it”
    • “They’ll come back when they’re ready”

    And while you’re waiting… nothing really changes.

    But here’s the key thing many parents aren’t told:

    👉 This isn’t just an attendance issue.
    👉 It’s usually a sign your child’s needs aren’t being met.

    When School Absence Is About More Than Attendance

    If your child is struggling to attend due to:

    • anxiety
    • sensory overwhelm
    • emotional distress
    • inability to cope in the environment

    This is often referred to as EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance).

    In these situations, pushing attendance alone rarely works.

    Because the issue isn’t willingness — it’s capacity.

    What Schools Often Focus On (And Why It Doesn’t Work)

    Many schools understandably focus on getting children back into the building.

    So the plan becomes:

    • reduced timetables
    • gradual returns
    • encouragement to attend

    But if the underlying needs aren’t addressed, this can:

    ❌ increase anxiety
    ❌ lead to further refusal
    ❌ damage trust
    ❌ prolong the time out of school

    What Should Be Happening Instead

    When a child cannot attend school due to their needs:

    👉 The focus should shift to understanding why

    This includes:

    • what is overwhelming or triggering
    • whether the environment is suitable
    • what support is missing
    • whether the current placement is appropriate

    The Legal Side (What Many Parents Aren’t Told)

    Even if your child isn’t attending school:

    👉 They are still entitled to an education

    Local authorities have a duty to ensure that suitable education is in place — even when a child cannot attend school due to illness, anxiety, or other needs.

    This may involve:

    • additional support
    • adjustments to provision
    • alternative education arrangements

    Why Waiting Can Make Things Worse

    Many parents are told to “wait it out”.

    But in reality:

    • the longer a child is out of school
    • the harder it can be to return
    • and the more support they may need

    That’s why early action is so important.

    What You Can Do Next

    If your child is currently out of school:

    1. Put Everything in Writing

    Make it clear that your child is unable to attend due to their needs, not unwilling.

    2. Ask for a Plan

    Request:

    • what support is in place now
    • how your child’s needs are being assessed
    • what the next steps are

    3. Keep a Record

    Document:

    • absences
    • behaviours
    • triggers
    • communication with school

    This becomes important evidence.

    4. Don’t Ignore Your Instinct

    If you feel something isn’t right — it usually isn’t.

    You know your child.

    Final Thought

    If your child hasn’t been in school for weeks, you are not alone.

    And you are not doing anything wrong.

    This is often what happens when a child is trying to cope in an environment that doesn’t meet their needs.

    The goal isn’t just to get them back into school.

    👉 It’s to make sure the right support and the right environment are in place so they can actually succeed.

    If you need help understanding your situation, what your rights are, or what to do next, come by and see us at AskEllie.co.uk — we’re here to help you make sense of it.

  • 🛠️ Important Update: Changes We’ve Made to AskEllie Today

    At AskEllie, everything we build comes from one place —
    our own experience as parents navigating the SEND system.

    But as the platform grows and more families rely on it, we also recognise something important:

    👉 With that comes responsibility.

    ⚖️ Why We’ve Made Changes

    Today, we’ve taken time to review and strengthen parts of AskEllie following feedback from a specialist lawyer in responsible AI.

    This wasn’t because anything had gone wrong —
    but because we want to make sure we’re doing this properly, safely, and transparently for the families who trust us.

    🔧 What’s Changed

    1. Clearer Guidance (Not Legal Advice)

    We’ve updated wording across the site and chatbot to make it clear that:

    👉 AskEllie provides guidance and support, not legal advice
    👉 We are here to help you understand and navigate — not replace professionals

    2. Stronger Chatbot Warnings

    Before using Ellie, you’ll now see clearer guidance to:

    👉 Avoid sharing personal or sensitive information
    👉 Understand that AI may not always be 100% accurate
    👉 Use responses as guidance, not final decisions

    3. Improved Privacy & Transparency

    We’ve updated our Privacy Policy to:

    👉 Better explain how data is handled
    👉 Be clearer about third-party AI tools
    👉 Strengthen transparency around your information

    4. Updated Terms & Expectations

    We’ve made it clearer:

    👉 What Ellie can and cannot do
    👉 How the service should be used
    👉 What to expect from private support

    5. Safer, Clearer Language Throughout

    We’ve reviewed our content to ensure it:

    👉 avoids misleading claims
    👉 reflects real-world use
    👉 stays aligned with responsible AI use

    🤝 What Hasn’t Changed

    What hasn’t changed is why AskEllie exists.

    We are still:

    • parents who’ve been through this system
    • people who understand how overwhelming it is
    • committed to making things clearer, simpler, and more accessible

    💡 Why This Matters

    There are a lot of families using AskEllie.

    Some are overwhelmed.
    Some are at breaking point.
    Some just need clarity on what to do next.

    Making these updates ensures:

    👉 you can trust what you’re using
    👉 you understand how to use it safely
    👉 and we continue to build something that genuinely helps

    🌱 Moving Forward

    AskEllie will continue to grow —
    but we want to grow the right way.

    That means:

    • listening to feedback
    • improving constantly
    • and putting families first

    If you’ve used AskEllie, shared our content, or trusted us with your situation — thank you.

    It genuinely means everything.

    👉 You can explore our resources and support at:
    www.AskEllie.co.uk

    💬 Final Thought

    We built AskEllie because we needed it.

    We’re improving it because you deserve something that works — and works safely.

  • SEND Reforms 2026: Why Parents Are Concerned — And What It Could Mean for Your Child

    There has been growing concern among SEND parents following reports that key decisions around upcoming SEND reforms may already be in motion — even though the official consultation is still open.

    If true, this raises an important question:

    👉 Are parents being asked for their views after decisions have already been made?

    This blog breaks down what’s being discussed — in simple terms — and what it could mean for your family.

    What’s Happening?

    The government is currently consulting on changes to the SEND system.

    This includes:

    • how support is delivered
    • who is responsible for providing it
    • how parents challenge decisions

    👉 The consultation is still open for feedback.

    However, reports suggest that some major changes may already be planned, regardless of the outcome.

    The Key Changes Being Talked About

    1. Changes to the SEND Tribunal

    Right now, if you disagree with a decision (like a refusal of an EHCP or support), you can appeal to the SEND Tribunal.

    This is one of the strongest legal protections parents have.

    👉 Concerns are being raised that these powers could be reduced.

    Why this matters:

    • It could become harder to challenge decisions
    • Parents may have fewer ways to hold the system accountable

    2. Shifting Responsibility to Schools

    Currently, local authorities (councils) have the legal duty to ensure provision is in place.

    Proposals suggest:

    👉 More responsibility could be moved onto schools

    Why this matters:

    • Schools are already under pressure and limited in resources
    • It may become less clear who is ultimately responsible
    • Parents could find themselves passed between school and council

    Why Parents Are Worried

    For many families, the current system is already difficult:

    • long delays
    • lack of support
    • constant battles to secure provision

    The concern is that these changes could:

    👉 make it harder to challenge
    👉 reduce accountability
    👉 and weaken existing protections

    But Isn’t the Consultation Still Open?

    Yes — and this is where the concern comes in.

    If decisions are already being shaped behind the scenes,
    then parents are asking:

    👉 How much influence does the consultation really have?

    What Does This Mean for Your Child?

    Right now, nothing has officially changed.

    Your current rights — including:

    • EHCP protections
    • the right to appeal
    • local authority duties

    👉 are still in place.

    But it’s important to stay informed, because these proposals could affect:

    • how easy it is to secure support
    • how disputes are resolved
    • and who is responsible for delivering provision

    What Can Parents Do Now?

    1. Stay Informed

    Follow trusted sources and updates on SEND reform discussions.

    2. Take Part in the Consultation

    Even if you feel unsure — your voice still matters.

    3. Connect With Parent Groups

    Campaign groups like Save Our Children’s Rights are sharing updates and actions.

    4. Understand Your Current Rights

    Right now, your legal protections are still active.

    👉 Don’t assume anything has changed yet.

    Final Thought

    SEND parents are already navigating one of the most complex systems there is.

    So when potential changes emerge — especially ones that could affect legal rights — it’s completely understandable that people feel concerned.

    This isn’t about panic.

    It’s about awareness.

    Because the more informed you are,
    the better placed you are to protect your child’s support and future.

    If you want help understanding your rights, navigating EHCPs, or responding to changes,
    come by and see us at AskEllie.co.uk — we’re here to help you make sense of it all.

  • Free Holidays for SEND Families: What You Can Access This Easter (And How to Find It)

    For many SEND families, school holidays aren’t a break.

    They’re often more intense, more exhausting, and more isolating than term time.

    So when people hear that some families are accessing free or heavily subsidised holidays, it can feel surprising — even out of reach.

    But the truth is:

    👉 Support does exist
    👉 Many families qualify
    👉 And most parents are never told about it

    With Easter approaching, now is the time to check what you might be entitled to.

    Why Holidays Matter More for SEND Families

    For SEND parents, a “holiday” isn’t just a luxury.

    It can be:

    • a chance to reset after burnout
    • time away from constant routines and pressure
    • an opportunity for your child to regulate in a calmer environment
    • a way to reconnect as a family

    And in many cases, these breaks are recognised as a genuine need — not just a want.

    What Support Is Available?

    There isn’t one single scheme — support comes from different places.

    Here are the key ones to check.

    1. Local Authority Short Breaks

    Many local authorities offer “Short Breaks” or respite support for families with disabled children.

    This can include:

    • funded holiday stays
    • day trips or activity programmes
    • Easter and school holiday schemes
    • overnight respite

    Eligibility often depends on:

    • whether your child has an EHCP
    • whether they receive DLA
    • level of need

    👉 Important: This is not always advertised clearly — you often need to ask your council directly or check their SEND Local Offer.

    2. Charities That Fund Holidays

    Several charities provide grants for holidays, breaks, or days out.

    One of the most well-known is:

    • Family Fund – offers grants for families on low incomes raising disabled children

    Support can include:

    • holiday costs
    • accommodation
    • travel
    • family days out

    There are also smaller charities that provide:

    • respite breaks
    • lodge stays
    • caravan holidays

    👉 These often have application windows — so it’s worth checking now before Easter.

    3. Social Services & Early Help Support

    If your family is known to social services or Early Help, you may be eligible for:

    • funded respite breaks
    • supported holiday placements
    • additional short break funding

    This is usually based on:

    • level of need
    • impact on family wellbeing
    • risk of burnout

    👉 If you’re struggling, it’s okay to ask for this support — it exists for a reason.

    4. School & SEND Team Opportunities

    Some schools and SEND teams have access to:

    • Easter holiday clubs
    • funded activities
    • specialist SEND holiday programmes

    These may be:

    • fully funded
    • subsidised
    • or linked to local authority schemes

    👉 Always ask your school or SENCO — even if nothing has been mentioned.

    5. Using DLA to Support a Break

    If your child receives Disability Living Allowance (DLA), many families use this to:

    • contribute towards a break
    • fund travel or accommodation
    • make holidays more accessible

    This can sometimes be combined with charity grants or local support.

    The Reality: Why So Many Families Miss Out

    The biggest issue isn’t that support doesn’t exist.

    It’s that:

    • it’s not clearly explained
    • parents aren’t told they’re eligible
    • the system relies on families knowing what to ask for

    So many parents simply assume:

    👉 “That won’t apply to us”
    👉 “We wouldn’t qualify”

    When in reality — they might.

    What You Should Do Now (Before Easter)

    If you’re a SEND parent, take these steps:

    ✔ Check your local authority’s Short Breaks / Local Offer page
    ✔ Look into Family Fund and similar charities
    ✔ Ask your child’s school or SENCO
    ✔ Speak to your social worker or Early Help team (if involved)
    ✔ Explore how your DLA could support a break

    Final Thought

    SEND parenting is relentless.

    And for many families, holidays aren’t about luxury —
    they’re about survival, recovery, and staying strong as a family.

    If you’re feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, or like you just need a break:

    👉 You are not asking for too much
    👉 And there may be support available to help

    If you want help understanding what you’re entitled to or how to apply,
    come by and see us at AskEllie.co.uk — we’re here to help you navigate it.

  • Meningitis in Teenagers: Why You Can’t Wait — And What Every Parent Needs to Know

    There has been a growing conversation around meningitis following heartbreaking stories shared in the media — including parents who have lost children within days of symptoms starting.

    One of the most important messages coming out of this is simple:

    Meningitis does not always show a rash.

    And when it comes to teenagers, there is an added risk that many families don’t fully consider.

    Why Teenagers Are More Vulnerable Than You Think

    As children grow older, the way they access healthcare changes.

    Teenagers may:

    • not be registered with a GP (especially at university)
    • delay booking appointments
    • be told to wait weeks for a routine slot
    • assume symptoms are “just flu”
    • not tell parents how unwell they really feel

    At the same time, parents are often:

    • less involved in day-to-day health decisions
    • physically distant (college, university, independence)
    • unaware of how quickly symptoms are escalating

    This creates a dangerous gap.

    Because with meningitis:

    👉 Time is critical
    👉 Delay can be life-threatening

    The Reality: You Don’t Have Weeks

    Meningitis can develop and become severe in a matter of days.

    In some cases, symptoms progress so quickly that by the time help is sought, it is already critical.

    This is why waiting for a standard GP appointment is not appropriate if symptoms suggest something more serious.

    The Symptoms to Watch For

    Many people associate meningitis with a rash.

    But the reality is:

    A rash is not always present — especially early on.

    That’s why it’s vital to recognise other symptoms.

    Early and Key Signs

    • flu-like symptoms that feel unusually severe
    • persistent or worsening headache
    • neck stiffness
    • sensitivity to light
    • nausea or vomiting

    More Serious Signs

    • confusion or difficulty thinking clearly
    • extreme tiredness or difficulty waking
    • cold hands and feet
    • limb pain
    • pale or mottled skin

    If something feels different — more intense, more unusual, or rapidly worsening — it’s important to take it seriously.

    What To Do (And What NOT To Do)

    Do:

    • Trust your instincts — if something feels wrong, act
    • Seek urgent medical help immediately
    • Go to A&E or call NHS 111 / 999 if symptoms are severe
    • Act even if you’re unsure — it’s always better to be checked

    Don’t:

    • wait for a GP appointment days or weeks away
    • assume it’s “just a virus”
    • wait for a rash to appear
    • ignore rapid changes in behaviour or alertness

    A Message for Teenagers

    If you’re a teenager reading this:

    You do not need to “tough it out”.

    If you feel seriously unwell — especially with the symptoms above —
    tell someone immediately or seek help yourself.

    Even if you’re not registered with a GP, you can still:

    • call NHS 111
    • go to A&E
    • ask a friend, flatmate, or family member to help

    A Message for Parents

    If your child is older — at college, university, or becoming more independent —
    have this conversation with them.

    Make sure they:

    • know the symptoms
    • understand when to act
    • feel confident seeking help

    Because in that moment,
    they may be the one who has to make the decision.

    Final Thought

    This is not about creating fear.

    It’s about awareness.

    Meningitis is rare — but when it happens, it can move fast.

    And knowing:

    • the signs
    • the urgency
    • and when to act

    can make all the difference.

    If you want more clear, practical guidance for navigating your child’s health, education, or support needs, AskEllie is here to help.

    You’re always welcome to come by and see us at AskEllie.co.uk.

  • “Safe Foods” and DLA: Why Your Child’s Eating Needs Matter More Than You Think

    If your child only eats a very small range of “safe foods,” you’ll know how much time, planning, and emotional energy goes into every meal.

    But when it comes to Disability Living Allowance (DLA), many parents don’t realise:

    👉 These eating difficulties can be a key part of your claim
    👉 And how you describe them can affect the outcome

    This guide explains how to show the real level of care involved — so your application reflects your child’s needs properly.

    What Are “Safe Foods”?

    “Safe foods” are foods your child feels able to eat without distress.

    This might mean:

    • same brand only
    • same packaging
    • same texture
    • same presentation
    • refusal if anything changes

    For many neurodivergent children (including those with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences), this isn’t preference — it’s regulation and safety.

    Why This Matters for DLA

    DLA is based on one key question:

    Does your child need more care, supervision, or support than a child of the same age?

    So if your child:

    • needs encouragement or prompting to eat
    • requires meals to be prepared in very specific ways
    • becomes distressed around food
    • refuses food without support
    • needs you present throughout meals

    That is additional care — and it should be clearly explained.

    The Mistake That Costs Parents Awards

    Many parents unintentionally minimise what’s happening.

    They write things like:

    • “They’re a fussy eater”
    • “They don’t like certain foods”
    • “They can be difficult at mealtimes”

    The issue is — this sounds typical.

    And if it sounds typical, it won’t meet the DLA threshold.

    How to Describe It Effectively

    The key is to focus on:

    • what you do (care provided)
    • how often (frequency)
    • what happens without support (impact)

    Strong Example

    “My child will only eat a limited range of ‘safe foods’. Meals must be prepared in a very specific way, and they require constant supervision and encouragement to eat. Without this support, they may refuse food entirely, which impacts their nutrition and wellbeing.”

    Another Example

    “My child has significant sensory sensitivities around food textures. This causes distress and refusal at mealtimes, requiring ongoing support, reassurance, and time well beyond what would be expected for a child of their age.”

    What Decision-Makers Need to Understand

    When reviewing your claim, they are looking for:

    • extra time (longer meals, preparation, planning)
    • extra supervision (you being present, prompting, encouraging)
    • extra support (managing distress, adapting food, preventing refusal)

    So always bring it back to:

    👉 What extra care do you provide?

    The Hidden Work Parents Do

    This is the part many people don’t see.

    Behind the scenes, parents are:

    • shopping specific brands only
    • avoiding entire food groups
    • preparing separate meals
    • managing meltdowns around food
    • worrying about nutrition
    • sitting through every meal to support

    This is daily, repetitive, and often exhausting care.

    And it counts.

    A Quick Checklist for Your DLA Form

    When writing about eating, ask yourself:

    • Do I explain the support I give, not just the behaviour?
    • Have I made it clear this happens every day?
    • Have I explained what happens if I don’t step in?
    • Have I compared this to a child of the same age?

    If not — go back and strengthen it.

    Final Thought

    If your child relies on “safe foods,” you are not dealing with typical eating behaviour.

    You are providing consistent, additional care — often multiple times a day.

    And it’s important that this is:

    ✔ clearly explained
    ✔ not minimised
    ✔ fully understood

    Because many parents miss out on support simply because they don’t realise what counts.

    If you need help with DLA wording, EHCP support, or understanding what your child is entitled to, AskEllie is here to support you.

    Come by and see us at AskEllie.co.uk — and let’s make sure your child gets the support they deserve.

  • Meningitis Concerns: What Parents Need to Know Right Now

    Recent discussions around meningitis cases have left many parents asking important questions.

    Was I vaccinated?
    Is my child protected?
    Why does it seem to affect teenagers more?
    And should I be worried?

    This guide breaks down what you need to know in a clear, calm, and practical way.

    What Is Meningitis?

    Meningitis is an infection that causes inflammation of the protective layers around the brain and spinal cord.

    It can be caused by bacteria or viruses.

    • Viral meningitis is more common and often less severe
    • Bacterial meningitis is rarer but can be very serious and requires urgent treatment

    Because symptoms can progress quickly, early recognition is extremely important.

    Are Children and Teenagers Vaccinated?

    In the UK, several vaccines are offered to protect against different types of meningitis.

    These include:

    • MenB vaccine (given to babies)
    • MenC vaccine
    • MenACWY vaccine (offered in teenage years)

    These vaccines have significantly reduced the number of serious cases.

    However, protection depends on:

    • whether vaccines were received
    • which strains they cover
    • and when they were given

    If you’re unsure, you can check your child’s red book or contact your GP.

    Why Are Teenagers Often Mentioned?

    You may have seen that teenagers are sometimes described as being at higher risk.

    This is partly due to lifestyle factors, including:

    • close social contact
    • sharing drinks or utensils
    • spending time in groups (schools, colleges, social settings)

    These environments can make it easier for certain infections to spread.

    What Symptoms Should Parents Look For?

    Meningitis can develop quickly, so recognising symptoms is crucial.

    Common symptoms include:

    • high temperature
    • severe headache
    • sensitivity to light
    • vomiting
    • stiff neck
    • difficulty waking or unusual drowsiness
    • confusion
    • cold hands and feet
    • limb pain or pale skin

    A rash that does not fade when pressed can sometimes appear, but not always.

    Symptoms can vary, especially in children, so it’s important to trust your instincts if something feels wrong.

    When Should You Seek Help?

    If you suspect meningitis, it is important to seek urgent medical attention immediately.

    Do not wait for all symptoms to appear.

    It is always better to get checked quickly, as early treatment can make a significant difference.

    In the UK, you can contact:

    • your GP
    • NHS 111
    • or go straight to A&E if symptoms are severe

    Should Parents Be Worried?

    It is completely understandable for parents to feel concerned when hearing about meningitis.

    However, health guidance generally emphasises:

    Be aware, not alarmed.

    Vaccination programmes have greatly reduced the risk of serious illness.

    The most important things parents can do are:

    • ensure vaccinations are up to date
    • be aware of symptoms
    • act quickly if concerned

    Final Thought

    Meningitis is a serious condition, but knowledge is one of the most powerful tools parents have.

    Understanding the symptoms, knowing your child’s vaccination status, and acting quickly if needed can make all the difference.

  • How to Word a Term-Time Absence Request in 2026 (If Your Child Is Struggling With Mental Health)

    For many families, the idea of requesting time off school during term time can feel stressful — especially when schools are focused on attendance and fines.

    But for parents of children experiencing anxiety, EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance), or other mental health challenges, time away from school is sometimes not about a “holiday” at all.

    It’s about protecting a child’s wellbeing.

    How you communicate this to the school can make a significant difference.

    Why Wording Matters

    Schools are under pressure to manage attendance and may view term-time absence requests as unauthorised holidays unless there is a clear reason.

    If a request is framed simply as a “holiday”, it is far more likely to be refused.

    However, if it is explained in the context of mental health, SEND needs, or wellbeing, it creates a very different picture.

    The key is to ensure the request reflects the reality of your child’s situation.

    1. Avoid the Word “Holiday”

    This is one of the most important points.

    Instead of saying:

    “We would like to take a holiday during term time…”

    Consider wording it like:

    “We are requesting a short period of absence due to our child’s current mental health needs.”

    This immediately shifts the focus from leisure to wellbeing.

    2. Clearly Explain What Your Child Is Experiencing

    Schools need to understand that this is not simply a preference — it is something affecting your child’s ability to cope.

    You might include:

    • increased anxiety around school
    • distress before or during attendance
    • physical symptoms (such as headaches, nausea, or fatigue)
    • difficulty engaging with learning

    For example:

    “Our child is currently experiencing significant anxiety related to school, which is impacting both their emotional wellbeing and ability to attend or engage consistently.”

    3. Link the Request to Support and Recovery

    It can help to explain why the time away is needed and what you hope it will achieve.

    For example:

    “We believe that a short period of reduced pressure will help support their emotional regulation and allow them to return to learning in a more stable and manageable way.”

    This shows that the request is purposeful, not avoidant.

    4. Reference SEND Needs Where Relevant

    If your child has Special Educational Needs or Disabilities, this should always be included.

    This might include:

    • Autism (ASD)
    • ADHD
    • PDA profile
    • an EHCP

    For example:

    “Our child has recognised SEND needs, including [insert], which significantly impact their ability to manage school demands when anxiety levels are high.”

    This helps schools understand that the situation is not isolated — it is part of a broader profile of needs.

    5. Keep the Tone Calm and Factual

    It is completely understandable to feel frustrated, especially if your child has been struggling for some time.

    However, when writing to the school, it is best to keep the tone:

    • calm
    • clear
    • focused on your child

    Avoid becoming defensive or confrontational.

    The goal is to create a written record that shows:

    • your child is struggling
    • you are acting in their best interests
    • the request is reasonable and considered

    6. Understand the Limits of Approval

    It is important to be aware that schools are not always able to authorise term-time absences, even where there are genuine concerns.

    However, that does not mean your concerns are not valid.

    If your child is unable to attend school due to mental health or SEND needs, this may point to a need for:

    • additional support
    • SEN assessment
    • adjustments to provision
    • or involvement from the local authority

    7. When the Issue Is More Than Short-Term

    If your child is persistently unable to attend school due to anxiety or mental health, it may go beyond a simple absence request.

    In these situations, parents may need to explore:

    • EBSA support strategies
    • EHCP assessments or reviews
    • Local authority duties under Section 19 of the Education Act (for alternative education where a child cannot attend school)

    This is where the focus shifts from attendance to access to suitable education.

    Example Wording You Can Use

    Here is a simple example you can adapt:

    “We are writing to request a short period of absence for our child due to ongoing mental health difficulties.
    They are currently experiencing significant anxiety related to school, which is affecting both their wellbeing and ability to engage with learning.
    We believe that a short period of reduced pressure will help support their emotional regulation and enable a more successful return to education.
    We will continue to work with the school to support their needs moving forward.”

    Final Thought

    For many SEND families, decisions like this are never taken lightly.

    They are made in response to a child who is struggling.

    While attendance is important, so is mental health, safety, and long-term wellbeing.

    Framing your request clearly and thoughtfully helps ensure that your child’s needs are understood — even if the system does not always respond as you hope.

    If you need help wording letters, understanding your rights, or navigating school challenges, AskEllie is here to support families every step of the way.

    You’re always welcome to come by and see us.

  • Universal Credit Disabled Child Element: Why One Family Received £6,000 Backdated

    Many families receiving Universal Credit and Disability Living Allowance (DLA) for their child do not realise they may be entitled to an additional payment called the Disabled Child Element.

    Recently, a parent contacted me after watching one of my videos to say that once this was corrected on their claim, they received around £6,000 in backdated payments.

    That’s why it’s worth explaining clearly how this works, because many families who should be receiving this support simply don’t realise it exists.

    What Is the Disabled Child Element?

    Universal Credit is made up of different parts called “elements.”

    These are additional payments added to your claim depending on your circumstances.

    If you have a child with a disability who receives Disability Living Allowance (DLA), your Universal Credit claim may qualify for the Disabled Child Element.

    This extra payment is designed to help families with the additional costs of raising a disabled child.

    There Are Two Levels of Payment

    There are actually two possible levels of this element.

    Disabled Child Element

    This applies if your child receives any rate of DLA.

    Severely Disabled Child Element

    This applies if your child receives the highest rate care component of DLA.

    The higher element recognises that some children require more intensive support and care.

    Why Some Families Are Missing It

    In theory, this element should be added to your Universal Credit claim once your child is awarded DLA.

    However, in practice this does not always happen automatically.

    This is particularly common when:

    • DLA is awarded after your Universal Credit claim has already started
    • the change is not reported properly in the Universal Credit journal
    • the system simply has not updated correctly

    This means some families are receiving less Universal Credit than they should be.

    Why Backdated Payments Sometimes Happen

    If the Disabled Child Element should have been included earlier but wasn’t, it may sometimes be backdated.

    This depends on the individual circumstances and the information that was provided to Universal Credit.

    In some cases, families have received several thousand pounds in backdated payments once the correct element was added.

    This is why it is so important to check your claim if your child receives DLA.

    How to Check Your Universal Credit Claim

    If you receive Universal Credit and your child receives DLA, you can check this fairly quickly.

    Log into your Universal Credit online account and review your payment breakdown.

    Look under the section called:

    “Children and qualifying young people.”

    If your claim includes the Disabled Child Element, it should appear in this section.

    What to Do If It Isn’t There

    If your child receives DLA but the Disabled Child Element is not listed on your claim, you should:

    1. Log into your Universal Credit journal
    2. Report a change in circumstances
    3. Inform them that your child receives Disability Living Allowance

    You can also ask them to review whether the Disabled Child Element should be included in your claim.

    If it should have been applied earlier, they may review whether a backdated payment is appropriate.

    Why This Matters

    Raising a child with additional needs often comes with extra costs.

    The Disabled Child Element exists to recognise this and help families manage those additional pressures.

    But because the Universal Credit system can be complex, many families are simply unaware they should be receiving it.

    Taking a few minutes to check your claim could make a significant difference.

    Final Thoughts

    If your child receives Disability Living Allowance and your household is on Universal Credit, it is definitely worth checking whether the Disabled Child Element has been added to your claim.

    Many parents assume the system will automatically include everything they are entitled to.

    Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

    And as some families have discovered, correcting it can sometimes result in substantial backdated support.

    If you are navigating SEND support, benefits, or education systems, AskEllie exists to help families understand their rights and options.

    You are always welcome to come by and see us.