If you’re filling in a Disability Living Allowance (DLA) form, you’ll know how overwhelming it can feel.
Many parents worry about “getting it wrong” — or worse, that being too honest might make them look like they can’t cope.
But the truth is: you’re not trying to convince anyone or exaggerate anything. You’re trying to accurately describe what daily life is like for your child, in a way the DWP (Department for Work and Pensions) can understand.
This free guide isn’t about gaming the system — it’s about helping you write clearly, truthfully, and confidently about your child’s real needs so that decision-makers can make a fair judgment.
🧠 What the DWP Is Actually Looking For
When the DWP reviews a DLA claim, they’re not looking for a diagnosis or medical label.
They’re comparing your child to another child of the same age without disabilities and asking:
“Does this child need significantly more care, supervision, or attention than other children their age?”
That means your form should focus on:
- How often your child needs help
- What kind of help they need
- How much extra time or supervision is required compared to a neurotypical child
⚡️ Why Meltdowns Matter
For many children with autism, PDA, ADHD, or sensory processing differences, meltdowns are a major part of daily life.
But if you just write “has meltdowns” or “gets upset,” the reviewer has no real sense of the intensity, frequency, or risk involved.
To the DWP, vague phrases sound like “typical childhood behaviour.”
So your goal is to paint a clear, factual picture that helps them understand what happens, how often, and what you have to do as a parent to manage it.
📝 How to Describe Meltdowns Effectively
Below are four practical steps to help you describe meltdowns clearly and truthfully on your DLA form.
1. Be Specific and Detailed
Describe exactly what happens during a meltdown — the behaviour, the duration, and what you have to do.
Avoid emotional language like “it’s awful” or “it’s exhausting,” and focus instead on facts.
Example:
“When overwhelmed, my child screams, hits, throws objects, and may attempt to leave the house. I need to stay close and physically block exits to keep them safe. Meltdowns can last between 20 and 45 minutes.”
This helps the reviewer picture the level of supervision and intensity involved.
2. State How Often It Happens
Frequency matters. The DWP needs to know how regular these events are to assess ongoing need.
Example:
“This happens most days, often triggered by noise, change of routine, or unexpected demands. There are usually 4–5 major meltdowns a week, with smaller incidents daily.”
Even if it varies, give a clear estimate and note when it’s worse (e.g. mornings, after school, transitions).
3. Explain What Recovery Looks Like
Many parents forget this part, but recovery can be just as demanding as the meltdown itself.
Example:
“After a meltdown, my child needs complete quiet and dark for up to an hour. They are emotionally drained and cannot rejoin normal activity without support.”
This shows ongoing care needs — not just crisis management.
4. Describe the Supervision Required
Supervision is one of the biggest indicators of additional need.
Explain what you have to do before, during, and after meltdowns to keep your child safe.
Example:
“My child cannot be left unsupervised during or after a meltdown. I must stay within arm’s reach at all times to prevent harm to themselves or others.”
This helps the DWP understand that your child’s needs go beyond typical reassurance or discipline.
⚖️ What to Avoid
- Don’t soften the truth. Parents often understate behaviours out of fear of judgment. This can lead to the DWP misunderstanding the severity of need.
- Avoid general terms like “struggles,” “gets upset,” or “needs help sometimes.” Instead, describe what help actually looks like.
- Don’t worry about sounding negative. You’re not writing a character statement — you’re describing need.
- Don’t assume professionals already know. The person reading your form has probably never met your child.
💬 How to Stay Objective and Honest
Try writing as if you’re explaining to a stranger who has never seen a meltdown before.
Keep sentences factual, short, and focused on:
- What happens
- How long it lasts
- How often it happens
- What you do to help
This isn’t about making your child sound “difficult” — it’s about showing the level of care and supervision you provide every day.
🪶 Final Tip: Use Real-Life Examples
If possible, describe a real situation that sums it up best.
“Last week, after a change to his taxi driver, my child became overwhelmed, screamed for 30 minutes, and hit out when I tried to comfort him. He needed 45 minutes in a dark room before he could eat or speak.”
One or two examples like this are powerful — they humanise the form without emotional exaggeration.
📄 Free Support from AskEllie
You shouldn’t have to pay for basic guidance on how to describe your child’s needs.
We’ve put together a free downloadable example sheet that shows exactly how to word DLA answers for sections on:
- Meltdowns and behaviour
- Supervision and safety
- Communication
- Sleep and daily care
You can get it here:
👉 AskEllie.co.uk/resources/dla-meltdown-guide
💜 Final Thought
You don’t need to exaggerate or “get creative” to be heard — you just need to write clearly and truthfully about what life really looks like.
The more precisely you describe your child’s meltdowns and support needs, the easier it is for the DWP to make a fair, informed decision.
Your voice matters — and written clearly, it’s powerful.
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