I was watching Vanessa again recently where they were discussing disruptive behaviour in primary schools.

One caller said something that will sound familiar to a lot of people:

“When I was a lad there was no ADHD. You were either a good boy or a bad boy.”

But what struck me most was what came next.

Because while saying ADHD “didn’t exist,” they then described children who:

• couldn’t sit still
• disrupted lessons
• were always in trouble
• struggled to focus
• couldn’t regulate themselves
• were shouted at constantly
• were labelled the “naughty boys”

And honestly?

That is exactly the point.

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These Children Always Existed

Autism existed in the 60s and 70s.

ADHD existed.

Learning difficulties existed.

Complex emotional and sensory needs existed.

What often didn’t exist was:

• awareness
• understanding
• proper diagnosis
• sensory-informed approaches
• trauma-informed education
• inclusive support systems

So many children back then were simply misunderstood.

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“Naughty” Was Often a Placeholder for “Unrecognised”

Previous generations often used labels like:

• naughty
• lazy
• difficult
• disruptive
• attention-seeking
• badly behaved

because there was little understanding of what might actually sit underneath those behaviours.

A child unable to sit still may now be recognised as having ADHD.

A child constantly overwhelmed by noise and routine changes may now be recognised as autistic.

A child melting down under pressure may now be understood through the lens of anxiety, PDA, trauma, or sensory overload.

Back then, many of these children were punished rather than supported.

And many carried that shame into adulthood.

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This Is Why the Conversation Matters

I do not believe most older people saying these things are trying to be cruel.

In many cases, they are speaking from the reality they knew growing up.

But the mindset still worries me.

Because we are hearing the same ideas repeated:

• on television
• in newspapers
• online
• and even in Parliament

The idea that:

“These children didn’t exist before.”

And that matters.

Because these beliefs shape how society responds to SEND reforms today.

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Teachers Are Struggling Too

None of this means classrooms are easy.

Teachers are under enormous pressure.

Many schools are trying to support increasingly complex needs without:

• enough funding
• enough training
• enough specialist staff
• enough support from wider systems

Children who are dysregulated, aggressive or disruptive can absolutely impact:

• teacher wellbeing
• classroom learning
• the safety of other children

Those concerns are real.

But understanding why behaviour happens matters too.

Because if we only see “bad behaviour,” we risk missing the child underneath it completely.

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My Own Experience

Children like my boys are not “bad children.”

I have seen what overwhelm looks like.
What sensory overload looks like.
What nervous-system panic looks like.

I have also seen how quickly a struggling child can become labelled.

Many neurodivergent children spend years hearing:

• “stop being difficult”
• “just behave”
• “everyone else can do it”
• “you’re choosing this”

when in reality, they are struggling in ways the adults around them do not fully understand.

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The Danger of Going Backwards

One of my biggest fears around current SEND debates and reforms is that society starts moving backwards.

That support becomes viewed as:

• “making excuses”
• “labelling children”
• “overdiagnosing”
• “bad parenting”

rather than recognising the reality many families live every single day.

Because the truth is:
many of these children were always there.

We just failed to see them properly.

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Families Need To Be Heard

SEND families are not asking for every behaviour to be excused.

They are asking for understanding.

For nuance.

For support before crisis.

For children to be seen as human beings rather than problems to remove.

Because many children who appear “difficult” are actually:

• overwhelmed
• anxious
• dysregulated
• unsupported
• or carrying needs nobody has recognised yet

And if we continue reducing them to simply:

“bad boys”

then we risk repeating the same mistakes previous generations already made.

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For more SEND support, autism guidance, EHCP help and neurodivergent parenting content, visit AskEllie.co.uk