The Prime Minister recently said that SEND is the issue MPs raise with him more than anything else.
He says the system “isn’t working,” that parents must be consulted, and that reforms are coming “next year.”
But parents don’t need consultation.
They don’t need another roundtable.
They don’t need another glossy announcement.
Parents need action on failures we’ve been shouting about for a decade — failures that are getting worse, not better.
And there is one group of children who are paying the highest price.
The Invisible Group: The “SEN-Between” Children
Every SEND parent in the UK knows them.
Many of us are their parents.
Not “severe enough” for a specialist school.
Not coping in mainstream.
Falling between the cracks of a system that was never designed for them.
These are the children who:
- mask all day until they collapse at home
- vomit from anxiety before school
- shut down, withdraw, or go non-verbal
- come home exhausted, shaking, or crying
- get suspended for trauma responses
- are repeatedly punished for unmet needs
- lose their confidence, their spark, their joy
- fear school every morning
- cannot cope, but cannot get support
And their parents?
They are:
- fined
- blamed
- gaslit
- accused of poor parenting
- pressured to force attendance
- dragged into endless meetings
- terrified of safeguarding weaponisation
- fighting the same battles every week
One parent told us:
“My son cries every morning, he’s broken, and school just keeps punishing him.”
Another said:
“I’ve been fined for protecting my autistic child’s mental health.”
Another:
“We left domestic violence and now my children’s location has been leaked by the school.”
Another:
“I have a GP letter, but school said it doesn’t count because my child ‘didn’t say it themselves.’”
Another:
“Six years of fighting. Don’t give up. It’s worth it in the end.”
Another:
“He’s lost his spark. He hates school. He’s a shell of himself.”
These are not isolated stories.
These are daily realities for families across the United Kingdom.
What the Prime Minister Isn’t Being Told
The Prime Minister sees the headlines — but he is not seeing the truth lived by families.
Here’s what parents have been saying for years:
1. Teachers are not trained in autism, ADHD, trauma or EBSA
Not at university.
Not in CPD.
Not in practice.
A system cannot include children it does not understand.
2. The EHCP crisis is out of control
Families wait:
- 3 years for autism assessments
- 18–24 months for ADHD
- beyond 20 weeks for EHCPs
- months for specialist reports
- years in unsuitable placements
Every delay harms a child.
3. Local Authorities break the law daily — with no consequences
If the NHS ignored cancer patients like this, there would be national outrage.
In SEND?
It’s expected.
4. Attendance fines are being used to punish mental health
Children with anxiety are treated as truant.
Parents trying to help are criminalised.
Schools are told to improve attendance statistics — not children’s wellbeing.
5. There is no meaningful alternative provision
Most AP settings are for behaviour, not anxiety.
The children who need small, calm, relational environments have nowhere to go.
6. Early intervention doesn’t exist
Families only get support at crisis point — after breakdown, trauma, and mental health collapse.
7. Children are becoming school-phobic because of the environment, not the education
Large classrooms, sensory overload, noise, unpredictability, transitions — this isn’t negligence, it’s simply a system designed for someone else’s child.
And this, Prime Minister, is why consulting parents won’t fix the problem.
Parents already told you everything in the comments sections of every SEND article posted online.
The system is burning down.
And parents are holding it up with their bare hands.
What Real SEND Reform Must Look Like
SEND cannot be fixed with slogans.
It cannot be fixed with another Green Paper.
It cannot be fixed by pretending mainstream fits everyone.
Here are the real, workable solutions parents are crying out for:
1. Listen to Parents — Not Panels, Consultants or Reports
Parents are the experts on their children.
We see the meltdowns, the fear, the masking, the trauma.
We know what works and what breaks them.
Real reform starts with lived experience — not theory.
2. Mandatory Training for Every Teacher
Autism
ADHD
Trauma
Pathological demand avoidance
EBSA
Sensory processing
Positive behaviour support
Attachment-aware practice
Training must be national, compulsory and ongoing.
3. Make Schools Safe for Neurodivergent Children
This includes:
– calm rooms
– reduced sensory overload
– flexible starts
– relational practice
– predictable routines
– smaller learning groups
– nurture provision
– genuine inclusion, not token inclusion
Behaviour charts, detentions, suspensions for sensory issues — all must go.
4. Stop Punishing Attendance Issues Caused by Anxiety
You cannot fine your way out of a mental health crisis.
You cannot prosecute trauma.
You cannot punish distress.
Attendance must be treated as a symptom, not a crime.
5. Enforce EHCPs With Legal Accountability
If a child has support written into their plan:
they must get it.
No excuses.
No “we don’t have funding.”
No “we can’t recruit.”
If the NHS ignored medical prescriptions, there would be outrage.
EHCPs should be no different.
6. Provide True Alternative Provision for “SEN-Between” Children
Small.
Calm.
Therapeutic.
Relational.
Flexible.
Local.
The country needs a new tier of education for children who cannot cope in large mainstream settings, but don’t need specialist schools.
7. Guarantee Section 19 Education When School Isn’t Possible
No child should be left without education for a year simply because they are too anxious to walk through a door.
If a child cannot attend, the LA must provide:
– online learning
– home tuition
– therapeutic support
– tailored alternatives
Education must continue — even when attendance cannot.
A Message to the Prime Minister
If you genuinely want to fix SEND:
Sit with a parent whose child shakes with fear at the school gate.
Sit with a dad who waited six years for an EHCP.
Sit with a family whose child was suspended for a meltdown.
Sit with a mum accused of poor parenting while she navigates trauma and SEN alone.
Sit with parents of the “SEN-betweeners” — the children you never hear about.
Because until SEND reform stops being political
and starts being personal,
nothing will change.
Our children deserve more than consultations.
They deserve action.
They deserve understanding.
They deserve safety.
They deserve education that fits them — not the other way around.
And they deserve it now.
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