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For many families, the start of a new school week can feel overwhelming.

While some children walk through the school gates without a second thought, others experience intense anxiety, distress, panic or physical symptoms that make attending school feel impossible.

If your child struggled this morning, you’re not alone.

And most importantly, it doesn’t automatically mean they are being defiant, lazy or difficult.

It could be a sign of Emotionally Based School Avoidance (EBSA).

EBSA is not simply a child refusing school. It is often a response to overwhelming anxiety, unmet needs, bullying, sensory difficulties, trauma, social pressures or an environment that feels unsafe.

If your child showed signs of EBSA this morning, here are five important things you should do.

1. Don’t Punish the Anxiety

One of the biggest mistakes adults can make is treating anxiety as a behavioural choice.

If your child was:

• Crying
• Panicking
• Freezing
• Shouting
• Refusing to get dressed
• Complaining of feeling unwell

they may be communicating distress rather than deliberately refusing to cooperate.

This doesn’t mean there should be no boundaries or expectations, but it does mean the focus should be on understanding what is driving the behaviour.

A child who feels understood is far more likely to engage than a child who feels blamed.

2. Start Keeping a Record

If this isn’t the first difficult morning, begin documenting what you’re seeing.

Make a note of:

• The date and time
• What happened
• What your child said
• Physical symptoms
• Emotional responses
• How long the distress lasted

Many parents underestimate how important these records can become.

Patterns often emerge over time and can provide valuable evidence when speaking to schools, health professionals or local authorities.

3. Look Beyond the Behaviour

When children are struggling to attend school, there is usually a reason.

Ask yourself:

• Is there bullying?
• Are there friendship difficulties?
• Is the environment overwhelming?
• Is there an unmet SEND need?
• Is your child masking during the school day?
• Is there a particular lesson, teacher or situation causing anxiety?

Children often communicate emotional distress through behaviour because they don’t yet have the language to explain what they’re feeling.

The question is rarely:

“How do we stop the behaviour?”

The more useful question is:

“What is this behaviour trying to tell us?”

4. Communicate With School Early

Many families wait until attendance has significantly deteriorated before raising concerns.

The earlier you communicate, the better.

Let the school know:

• What you’re seeing at home
• Any physical symptoms
• Changes in behaviour
• Concerns about anxiety
• Any potential triggers

Good communication creates opportunities for support before difficulties become entrenched.

Schools may not always see what parents see at home, particularly if a child is masking during the school day.

5. Remember That Attendance Doesn’t Always Mean Coping

This is one of the most misunderstood aspects of EBSA.

A child can attend school every day and still be struggling enormously.

Some children:

• Sleep poorly before school
• Become physically unwell every morning
• Mask all day
• Come home exhausted
• Experience meltdowns after school
• Spend weekends recovering

Attendance figures don’t always tell the full story.

For many children, the real question isn’t:

“Did they go to school?”

It’s:

“What did it cost them emotionally to get there?”

You’re Not Alone

If this morning was difficult, please know that many other families are facing similar challenges.

Parents often blame themselves when their child struggles with school attendance.

In reality, EBSA is usually far more complex than people realise.

The earlier concerns are recognised, the easier it becomes to identify patterns, seek support and understand what is driving the distress.

Your child is not alone.

And neither are you.

Need More Support?

AskEllie provides free guidance, resources and practical information to help families navigate SEND, EBSA, EHCPs and the challenges that often come with them.

Visit AskEllie.co.uk for more support and information.

Every week I hear from people who are worried because a PIP review form has arrived through the door.

The first question is almost always the same:

“Are they going to stop my money?”

If you’ve recently received a PIP review form, try not to panic. A review does not automatically mean you are going to lose your award.

Here’s what you need to know.

Why Have I Been Sent a PIP Review Form?

Most PIP awards are given for a fixed period of time.

Before that award is due to end, the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) will usually start a review to decide whether your award should continue.

In many cases, review forms are sent out many months before the award end date because the process can take a long time.

Some people receive their review form almost a year before their award is due to end.

What Happens After I Return the Form?

Once you’ve completed the review form and sent it back with any supporting evidence, the DWP will begin reviewing your claim.

This may involve:

• Looking at the information you have provided.
• Reviewing any medical evidence.
• Arranging an assessment if they feel one is needed.
• Making a decision about your future award.

The important thing to understand is that this process can take months.

For some people, it can take considerably longer.

Will My PIP Stop When My Award End Date Arrives?

This is one of the biggest worries people have.

In most review cases, if the DWP has not finished processing your review by the time your award end date arrives, your existing PIP payments will usually continue while the review is ongoing.

This means that many people continue receiving their PIP award beyond the original end date while waiting for a decision.

Receiving a review form does not mean your payments are about to stop.

What Decisions Can the DWP Make?

Once the review has been completed, the DWP may decide to:

• Leave your award exactly the same.
• Increase your award.
• Reduce your award.
• End your award.

Every case is different, and the decision will depend on the evidence available and how your condition affects you on a daily basis.

What If I Disagree With the Decision?

If you receive a decision that you believe is wrong, you have the right to challenge it.

The first step is usually to request a Mandatory Reconsideration (MR).

This means asking the DWP to look at the decision again.

If the Mandatory Reconsideration does not change the outcome, you can usually appeal to an independent tribunal.

Many people successfully challenge PIP decisions through this process.

The Biggest Mistake People Make

One of the biggest mistakes is rushing through the review form.

The review form is your opportunity to explain:

• How your condition affects you.
• What support you need.
• Why those difficulties still exist.
• Any changes since your last award.

Providing clear examples and relevant supporting evidence can make a significant difference.

The Key Thing to Remember

If you’ve received a PIP review form, don’t assume the worst.

A review is a normal part of the PIP process.

It does not automatically mean your award will be reduced or stopped.

Complete the form carefully, provide as much relevant evidence as possible, and make sure you return everything before the deadline.

Most importantly, don’t let the arrival of the form convince you that a decision has already been made.

It hasn’t.

The review process is simply beginning.

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Need Help With a PIP Review?

Many people find the review form overwhelming, particularly when trying to explain how their condition affects them day to day.

AskEllie regularly helps people understand the PIP process, organise their evidence, and ensure decision-makers have a clear picture of the support they need.

The key is not how long the form is—it’s making sure the right information is included in the sections that matter most.

A recent BBC video about rising exclusions sparked a huge reaction online.

But it wasn’t the statistics that caught my attention.

It was the top comment.

At the time of writing, it had received thousands of likes and simply said:

“The sad part is most schools don’t really care to stop bullying.”

Now, before teachers and school leaders understandably feel attacked by that statement, it’s worth taking a step back and asking a different question:

Why did so many people agree with it?

Because when thousands of parents relate to a comment like that, they’re usually not talking about one specific school.

They’re talking about trust.

Bullying Is Not Just About The Bullying

Most people think the damage comes from the bullying itself.

But for many children, especially those with SEND, the deeper damage happens afterwards.

The moment they tell someone.

The moment they ask for help.

The moment they finally find the courage to explain what is happening.

And then feel like nothing changes.

Many parents describe a pattern that looks something like this:

• Child reports bullying
• School investigates
• Parents are told it has been “dealt with”
• The behaviour continues
• Child becomes increasingly anxious
• Attendance begins to drop
• Behaviour changes
• School starts focusing on the child’s reactions instead

Whether this happens intentionally or not, it leaves many families feeling unheard.

Why SEND Children Are Particularly Vulnerable

Autistic children are significantly more likely to experience bullying than their peers.

Children with ADHD are also at increased risk.

Children who:

• struggle socially
• process information differently
• have sensory differences
• communicate differently
• or simply stand out from the crowd

often become targets.

Many SEND children desperately want to fit in.

Some spend years masking their difficulties.

Others become isolated.

Some begin avoiding school altogether.

And when bullying is added into that mix, the consequences can be devastating.

The Link Between Bullying, Anxiety and School Avoidance

One thing many people fail to recognise is that bullying doesn’t always create obvious outcomes.

Children don’t always come home and say:

“I’m being bullied.”

Instead, parents may notice:

• stomach aches
• headaches
• difficulty sleeping
• emotional outbursts
• school refusal
• anxiety
• panic attacks
• withdrawal
• loss of confidence

Over time, school can stop feeling safe.

And when a child no longer feels safe, learning becomes almost impossible.

This is one reason why increasing numbers of families are dealing with EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance).

The issue is often much deeper than attendance.

Why Parents Feel Frustrated

Most teachers genuinely care about children.

Most school leaders want children to succeed.

But parents often experience things very differently.

Many feel they have to repeatedly prove their child is struggling.

Some report concerns for months or years before meaningful action is taken.

Others feel their child’s distress is dismissed as:

• oversensitivity
• attention seeking
• behavioural issues
• poor resilience

Eventually, frustration builds.

Not because parents hate schools.

But because they feel nobody is listening.

Rising Exclusions Are Not Happening In Isolation

The BBC story focused on rising exclusions.

But exclusions don’t happen in a vacuum.

Many children who are excluded have experienced:

• unmet SEND needs
• anxiety
• trauma
• bullying
• school avoidance
• emotional dysregulation

long before exclusion becomes a possibility.

By the time some children are removed from school, the warning signs have often been present for months or even years.

The real question is not simply:

“Why are exclusions increasing?”

The real question is:

“What happened before the exclusion?”

Rebuilding Trust

The answer is not to blame schools.

And it is not to blame parents.

Both are operating under enormous pressure.

Teachers are dealing with:

• large classes
• funding pressures
• safeguarding responsibilities
• rising mental health needs

Parents are dealing with:

• long CAMHS waiting lists
• SEND battles
• local authority delays
• exhausted children
• financial stress
• emotional burnout

Neither side benefits when trust breaks down.

But trust is rebuilt when families feel:

• listened to
• believed
• included
• informed
• and supported

especially when concerns are raised early.

The Question We Should Be Asking

Perhaps the most important question is not whether schools care.

Most do.

The question is whether systems are giving schools the time, staffing, resources and specialist support they need to properly protect vulnerable children.

Because when thousands of people relate to a comment saying schools don’t care about bullying, that should concern all of us.

Not because the statement is necessarily true.

But because so many families clearly feel that it is.

And once trust is lost, the consequences can follow children for years.

Particularly those who were already vulnerable in the first place.

The UK has now passed a devastating milestone.

More than one million young people aged 16–24 are now classified as:
NEET.

Not in education.
Not in employment.
Not in training.

According to newly released statistics, over 1,012,000 young people fell into this category during the first part of 2026.

And honestly?

For many SEND families, this is not shocking at all.

Because parents across the country have spent years watching children quietly fall through cracks that were getting wider every year.

The Children The System Slowly Lost

A line from the new report stood out powerfully:

“The system saw them coming, watched them fall, and never caught them.”

That sentence will resonate painfully with many parents of autistic, ADHD and PDA children.

Because many families have spent years trying to explain that children were:

• struggling emotionally
• becoming school avoidant
• overwhelmed by sensory environments
• burnt out
• anxious
• dysregulated
• exhausted
• and unable to cope with systems never designed for their nervous systems

But instead of meaningful support arriving early, many children were:

• punished
• labelled difficult
• excluded
• isolated
• put on waiting lists
• or simply told to “build resilience”

Eventually many stopped engaging altogether.

This Is Not Just About “Young People Not Wanting To Work”

That narrative completely misses what many families are actually seeing.

Because huge numbers of young people are not simply “lazy” or unwilling.

Many are emotionally exhausted long before adulthood even begins.

Particularly neurodivergent young people.

Many autistic and ADHD teenagers are leaving school having spent years:

• masking distress
• surviving sensory overload
• dealing with chronic anxiety
• navigating bullying
• fighting unsupported SEND needs
• and existing in permanent fight-or-flight

By the time they finally leave education, many are already burnt out.

Not unmotivated.
Burnt out.

Schools Are Under Enormous Pressure Too

This is important to acknowledge fairly.

Teachers and schools themselves are also under immense strain.

Schools are trying to manage:

• rising mental health needs
• staffing shortages
• lack of specialist provision
• increasing behavioural complexity
• long CAMHS waiting lists
• funding pressures
• and overwhelmed classrooms

Many teachers genuinely care deeply about children and are trying their best inside systems already stretched beyond capacity.

But unfortunately, when systems are overwhelmed, vulnerable children are often the first to struggle.

The Rise Of School Trauma And EBSA

One of the biggest hidden issues underneath these numbers is school trauma and EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance).

Increasing numbers of children are not refusing school because they “cannot be bothered.”

Many are psychologically overwhelmed.

Parents describe children:

• unable to sleep
• vomiting before school
• shutting down
• becoming aggressive from distress
• self-harming
• or developing severe anxiety linked directly to education environments

Yet support frequently arrives far too late.

And by the time intervention happens, some children have already completely disconnected from education emotionally.

The System Is Built Around Outcomes — Not Nervous Systems

One uncomfortable point raised in the report is that the education system often prioritises:

• grades
• attendance
• targets
• qualifications
• and performance metrics

over whether children are actually coping psychologically.

For neurodivergent children especially, this can become devastating.

Because many schools are still built around:

• constant demands
• overstimulation
• large crowded environments
• inflexible expectations
• and pressure-heavy systems

Children who cannot tolerate those environments are often treated as behavioural problems instead of children whose nervous systems are overwhelmed.

Young Men Are Quietly Disappearing Too

The new figures also showed the rise was particularly significant among young men.

This matters.

Because many boys — especially neurodivergent boys — are struggling deeply with:

• identity
• emotional regulation
• isolation
• lack of support
• disengagement
• and poor mental health

Yet many still grow up inside cultures that discourage emotional openness or vulnerability.

Some simply withdraw.

Quietly.
Completely.

We Cannot Punish Burnout Into Productivity

One of the biggest mistakes society makes is assuming that pressure alone creates resilience.

For many young people, especially neurodivergent young people, constant pressure eventually creates collapse instead.

You cannot shame exhausted nervous systems into functioning.

And if children spend years surviving systems rather than thriving within them, eventually many will disconnect from those systems entirely.

That is what many families believe we are now witnessing nationally.

The Bigger Question Nobody Wants To Ask

The real question is not simply:
“How do we get young people back into work?”

The deeper question is:
Why are so many children reaching adulthood emotionally exhausted in the first place?

Because if huge numbers of young people no longer feel able to engage with:

• education
• employment
• society
• or traditional pathways

then perhaps the issue is not simply the young people themselves.

Perhaps the systems around them are no longer psychologically sustainable for increasing numbers of children.

Final Thoughts

This issue cannot be reduced to:
“young people are lazy.”

The reality is far more serious.

Many children have spent years inside systems that:

• misunderstood them
• overwhelmed them
• unsupported them
• or quietly lost them altogether

And now society is shocked to discover so many young adults no longer feel able to participate.

Many SEND families saw this coming years ago.

Because they were living it long before the statistics finally caught up.

While many families were trying to survive half term, the Department for Education quietly released updated statutory guidance on school exclusions and suspensions.

For many parents outside the SEND world, this may sound like routine policy paperwork.

But for thousands of SEND families across the UK, hearing the words:
“updated exclusions guidance”
immediately creates anxiety.

Because autistic, ADHD and PDA children are already disproportionately excluded from school.

And many parents fear the system is moving further toward punishment rather than support.

Why This Matters So Much For SEND Families

Exclusions do not happen in isolation.

Behind many exclusions are children struggling with:

• sensory overload
• anxiety
• school trauma
• unmet SEND needs
• emotional dysregulation
• burnout
• communication difficulties
• fight-or-flight responses
• and unsupported mental health needs

Many parents are not dealing with “bad children.”

They are dealing with children whose nervous systems are overwhelmed.

And unfortunately, distress is often still interpreted primarily as behaviour.

Schools Are Under Huge Pressure Too

This is important to acknowledge fairly.

Schools themselves are under enormous strain.

Teachers and school leaders are dealing with:

• increasing classroom pressures
• rising behavioural complexity
• staffing shortages
• lack of specialist provision
• long CAMHS waiting lists
• limited funding
• and growing numbers of emotionally distressed children

Many teachers are genuinely trying their best within systems that are already stretched beyond capacity.

This is not simply:
“schools versus parents.”

The reality is much more complicated than that.

The Bigger Fear: Exclusion Becoming The Default Outcome

What many SEND families are frightened of is this:

When systems cannot properly support children early enough, exclusion risks becoming the outcome instead.

And many parents already feel this is happening.

Children who needed:

• assessment
• emotional support
• regulation strategies
• smaller environments
• safer relationships
• specialist input
• or flexible approaches

instead end up:

• repeatedly sanctioned
• isolated
• suspended
• informally excluded
• reduced timetable
• or eventually permanently excluded altogether

By the time many exclusions happen, families often feel the system has already failed long before the behaviour itself escalated.

A Dysregulated Child Is Not Always A Dangerous Child

This is one of the most important conversations happening in SEND right now.

Because not every distressed child is:

• violent
• threatening
• malicious
• or intentionally disruptive

Some children are simply overwhelmed.

Some are functioning in constant fight-or-flight.

Some have spent years masking until their nervous system eventually collapses.

And many autistic and PDA children particularly struggle in environments based heavily around:

• control
• pressure
• unpredictability
• sensory overload
• and constant demands

Without understanding the “why” behind behaviour, schools can unintentionally punish children for disability-related distress.

Why The Timing Upset Many People

One thing many school leaders and SEND advocates have questioned is why updated statutory guidance was quietly released over half term.

The timing created frustration because:

• schools are already overwhelmed
• parents were not expecting significant policy updates
• and many families fear major changes are being introduced with limited public understanding

For SEND parents already living in constant uncertainty around education, any exclusions update immediately feels high stakes.

The Reality Many Families Are Living

At AskEllie, we hear from families every day whose children:

• cannot currently attend school
• are emotionally burnt out
• have experienced repeated suspensions
• are developing EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance)
• or are sitting at home without suitable provision

Many parents describe feeling blamed rather than supported.

And many children begin believing:
“I am the problem.”

When in reality, they may simply have been unsupported for far too long.

The Question Nobody Wants To Ask

The real question is not:
“Should schools ever exclude children?”

Of course schools need safe environments.

The deeper question is this:

Why are so many disabled children reaching crisis point before meaningful support arrives?

Because if exclusion becomes increasingly common for children with unmet needs, then the system is not simply managing behaviour.

It is managing the consequences of earlier failures.

Final Thoughts

This conversation cannot become:
“teachers versus parents.”

Both schools and families are struggling under enormous pressure.

But if the education system continues treating dysregulation primarily as discipline rather than distress, more children will continue falling through the cracks.

And many SEND families are terrified that updated exclusions guidance may move us further in that direction rather than away from it.

At the centre of all this are children who desperately need:

• understanding
• regulation
• support
• safety
• and environments capable of meeting their needs before crisis happens.

Because by the time exclusion happens, the child has often already been telling us for a very long time that something was wrong.

Half term can feel incredibly expensive for SEND families.

And honestly, for many parents it is not even the money alone that becomes exhausting.

It is:

• the planning
• the sensory overwhelm
• the anxiety around outings
• the pressure to create “perfect memories”
• and trying to manage dysregulation while everybody else online seems to be having magical family days out

At AskEllie, we hear constantly from families who feel overwhelmed before half term has even started.

But many parents still do not realise there are actually support schemes, discounts and SEND-friendly options that can make holidays much more manageable.

Here are 5 genuinely useful SEND half-term supports more families should know about.

1. Many Attractions Offer FREE Carer Tickets

This is one of the biggest hidden savings for SEND families.

If your child receives:

• DLA
• PIP
• or sometimes has an Access Card/Nimbus registration

many attractions will allow a parent or carer to enter for free.

This can apply to:

• theme parks
• zoos
• aquariums
• trampoline parks
• cinemas
• soft play centres
• museums
• and family attractions across the UK

Always check the accessibility section before booking.

Many families unknowingly pay for tickets they do not actually need.

2. Autism-Friendly Cinema Screenings Can Completely Change The Experience

A lot of cinemas now offer autism-friendly or sensory-friendly screenings.

These often include:

• lower sound
• dimmed lighting
• freedom to move around
• fewer trailers
• and less pressure for children to remain silent or still

For many neurodivergent children this transforms cinema trips from overwhelming to enjoyable.

And honestly?
Many parents say these screenings feel less stressful for the entire family.

3. Libraries Are One Of The Best SEND Half-Term Hacks

Libraries are massively underrated.

Especially during school holidays.

Many now offer:

• Lego groups
• sensory activities
• gaming sessions
• crafts
• reading clubs
• calm spaces
• and structured activities

And most importantly:
they are free.

For many neurodivergent children, calmer predictable environments work far better than loud overstimulating attractions.

Sometimes children simply need:

• lower pressure
• familiar routines
• and nervous system recovery after school burnout

4. Most SEND Parents Still Do Not Know About The Max Card or Access Card

These cards can unlock:

• discounts
• free carer entry
• accessibility support
• priority access
• reduced ticket prices
• and additional adjustments

at hundreds of venues across the UK.

The Max Card

The Max Card is designed specifically for families of children with additional needs and disabilities.

It can provide discounts at:

• attractions
• leisure centres
• bowling alleys
• farms
• soft plays
• and activity venues

The Access Card

The Access Card/Nimbus scheme helps families communicate accessibility needs without repeatedly explaining them at every venue.

This can make days out significantly less stressful for families already emotionally exhausted.

5. National Trust Locations Often Work Brilliantly For SEND Families

Many SEND parents assume holidays must mean expensive attractions.

But honestly?
Some of the best regulated days happen outdoors.

Many National Trust locations now offer:

• free carer support
• accessible routes
• quieter environments
• sensory maps
• calmer open spaces
• and low-pressure family days

For many neurodivergent children:
nature,
predictability,
space,
and reduced sensory demand work far better than highly stimulating environments.

The Truth About Half Term For SEND Families

One of the biggest misconceptions is that holidays are always “relaxing.”

For many SEND families:
half term is actually recovery.

Recovery from:

• masking
• school anxiety
• emotional burnout
• sensory overload
• and constant nervous system stress

And honestly?
The pressure social media places on parents to create expensive perfect experiences can make families feel even worse.

But some of the best memories are often:

• safe places
• familiar foods
• gaming together
• walks
• low-pressure outings
• and simply letting exhausted nervous systems breathe again

Final Thoughts

SEND parenting is already emotionally exhausting enough.

Families should not have to fight to discover support schemes that could genuinely help them financially and emotionally.

At AskEllie, we believe more parents deserve:

• practical support
• accessible information
• and realistic advice that actually understands family life behind closed doors

Because sometimes the most valuable thing you can give a SEND family during half term…
is less pressure.

The backlash surrounding the Department for Education’s recent SEND reform video featuring Gemma Collins has now become far bigger than the original clip itself.

After criticism exploded across social media, Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson responded by saying some of the reaction had been:
“outright snobbery” and “just downright unpleasant.”

And honestly?

That response may have deepened the divide between SEND families and the Department for Education even further.

Because most parents were never angry at Gemma Collins.

In fact, many people actually like Gemma Collins.

The anger came from something much deeper.

Families Feel Completely Disconnected From Decision Makers

Across the UK, SEND families are currently living through what many describe as a full-scale crisis.

Parents are:

• fighting for EHCPs
• waiting years for CAMHS
• battling school attendance procedures
• watching children emotionally collapse
• experiencing severe family burnout
• struggling financially
• and trying to survive systems many now believe are already breaking down

Teachers are burning out.
Teaching assistants are leaving.
Schools are cutting support.
Children are masking severe distress.
And parents are reaching emotional breaking point.

So when the Department for Education released a highly produced social-media-style campaign involving dramatic music, celebrity appearances and influencer-style promotion…

many families simply felt:
“This does not match the seriousness of what we are living through.”

“The Problem Was Never Gemma Collins”

This is important to say clearly.

The backlash was never really about Gemma Collins herself.

The deeper concern was the tone.

Families expected:

• honesty
• clarity
• transparency
• answers about reform
• and meaningful acknowledgement of the crisis

Instead many felt they were being marketed to.

That is why the response online became so emotionally charged.

Why The “Snobbery” Comment Caused More Anger

One of the reasons the situation escalated further is because many parents felt their concerns were instantly dismissed rather than understood.

Instead of:
“Why are families reacting this strongly?”

many felt the response became:
“You are being unpleasant.”

That struck a nerve.

One highly liked comment online summed up the feeling many parents expressed:

“There’s no attempt to understand the criticism and concerns from parents/carers and teachers — just a rush to label them.”

And honestly, that captures the core issue perfectly.

SEND families increasingly feel:

• unheard
• emotionally dismissed
• blamed
• and disconnected from the people making decisions about their children’s futures

The Marketing Spend Debate

Adding fuel to the backlash were reports around wider Department for Education spending on communications and influencer campaigns.

While Gemma Collins herself reportedly was not paid, families also understand that campaigns themselves are never “free.”

There are:

• production teams
• videographers
• editors
• campaign staff
• communications departments
• consultants
• social media strategy
• and wider marketing budgets involved

Reports suggesting large-scale marketing and influencer spending have therefore landed badly with many families already being told:

• schools cannot afford support
• teaching assistants are being cut
• services are overwhelmed
• and budgets are stretched beyond capacity

The emotional reaction from parents becomes easier to understand in that context.

Why Families Are So Emotionally Raw Right Now

Many people outside the SEND world still underestimate the emotional reality families are living with daily.

Behind every statistic is:

• a child struggling
• a parent exhausted
• a family fighting systems just to be heard

Some families are living with:

• severe school trauma
• suicidal ideation
• chronic anxiety
• violent dysregulation
• emotional burnout
• years of interrupted sleep
• and constant hypervigilance

So when communication from government appears overly polished or disconnected from that reality, it can feel deeply upsetting.

Not because parents “hate fun.”
Not because they are “snobs.”

But because many families no longer feel the crisis itself is being treated with the seriousness they believe it deserves.

The Bigger Problem: Trust Is Breaking Down

Perhaps the most worrying part of this entire situation is not the video itself.

It is what the reaction reveals about trust.

Many SEND families no longer feel:

• listened to
• represented
• understood
• or emotionally connected to the people leading reform

And once trust begins collapsing between families and institutions, every future reform conversation becomes harder.

Final Thoughts

This conversation was never really about celebrities.

It was about something much deeper:
the growing feeling among SEND families that the emotional reality of their lives is still not truly understood at the top levels of government.

Families do not want perfect politicians.
They do not expect miracles.

But they do want:

• honesty
• empathy
• understanding
• transparency
• and evidence that the people leading reform genuinely understand the crisis happening on the ground.

Right now, many parents simply do not feel that reassurance.

When parents think about sleep, most focus on one thing:

“How many hours is my child getting?”

But modern sleep research is increasingly showing that WHEN children fall asleep may be just as important as how long they sleep for.

And honestly, for many families — especially SEND families — poor sleep may be one of the biggest hidden causes behind:

• emotional dysregulation
• meltdowns
• attention difficulties
• school struggles
• anxiety
• behavioural problems
• and chronic family exhaustion

At AskEllie, we hear constantly from parents whose children:

• cannot switch off at night
• stay awake for hours
• wake repeatedly
• struggle with anxiety before bed
• or become emotionally overwhelmed after long periods of poor sleep

And the reality is:
modern life is working directly against healthy nervous systems.

What Current Sleep Guidance Says

According to current guidance used by many doctors and sleep researchers:

• Toddlers generally need around 11–14 hours
• Preschool children around 10–13 hours
• School-age children around 9–12 hours
• Teenagers still need around 8–10 hours

But here is the important part many families miss:

Children may technically “get enough sleep” while still going to sleep far too late for their body clock.

Why Timing Matters

Human sleep is controlled by chemistry, not just routine.

The body naturally regulates:

• melatonin
• cortisol
• growth hormones
• memory consolidation
• emotional processing
• and nervous system recovery

through circadian rhythms.

In simple terms:
the body expects certain things to happen at certain times.

And when children regularly fall asleep very late — especially during school weeks — many never fully reset emotionally or neurologically before the next day begins.

What Sleep Deprivation Looks Like in Children

One of the biggest problems is that exhausted children often do NOT simply look sleepy.

Instead poor sleep can show up as:

• hyperactivity
• aggression
• emotional outbursts
• poor concentration
• anxiety
• impulsivity
• school refusal
• sensory overwhelm
• emotional sensitivity
• or complete emotional shutdown

Many parents assume behaviour is the problem…
when actually the nervous system is exhausted.

Why SEND Children Often Struggle More

This becomes even more important for neurodivergent children.

Many autistic and ADHD children naturally struggle with:

• delayed melatonin release
• racing thoughts
• sensory processing difficulties
• anxiety
• hyperfocus
• emotional dysregulation
• or nervous systems that simply do not “switch off” easily

This means bedtime itself can become emotionally exhausting for the entire family.

Then the next day:

• tolerance drops
• school becomes harder
• meltdowns increase
• emotional regulation worsens
• and family stress escalates again

creating a vicious cycle many families become trapped inside for years.

Modern Life Is Making Sleep Worse

Honestly, children today are growing up inside environments specifically designed to overstimulate the brain.

Screens.
Gaming.
TikTok.
Dopamine-driven apps.
Blue light exposure.
Late-night scrolling.
Constant stimulation.

Even adults are struggling to regulate healthy sleep patterns now.

So many parents should stop blaming themselves so harshly.

Because this is not simply about “bad parenting” or “lazy routines.”

Many families are battling against:

• neurobiology
• anxiety
• modern technology
• school stress
• and nervous systems already overwhelmed before bedtime even begins

Why Better Sleep Changes Everything

One thing many parents notice when sleep improves is this:

Their child often becomes:

• calmer
• more emotionally regulated
• less reactive
• more resilient
• better able to tolerate school
• and more capable of managing everyday stress

Especially neurodivergent children.

Because sometimes what appears to be:
“bad behaviour”
“defiance”
or “laziness”

is actually an exhausted nervous system crying out for rest.

Final Thoughts

At AskEllie, we believe sleep is one of the most overlooked parts of child wellbeing — particularly in neurodivergent families.

And while there is no “perfect” routine for every child, understanding how deeply sleep affects:

• behaviour
• anxiety
• emotional regulation
• attention
• and learning

can completely change how parents view their child’s struggles.

Because children do not thrive when they are simply surviving exhaustion.

And honestly?
Neither do parents.

Filling in a DLA form for your child can feel overwhelming, emotional and incredibly stressful.

And honestly, one of the hardest parts is this:

Most parents are so used to supporting their child every single day that they no longer realise how much extra care they are actually providing.

At AskEllie, we see this constantly.

Parents unintentionally minimise things.
Downplay struggles.
Focus on “good days.”
Or assume professionals and decision makers will somehow “just understand.”

Unfortunately, the DWP only sees what is written on the form.

And many families are rejected not because their child does not need support — but because the reality of that support was never fully explained.

Here are 5 of the biggest mistakes parents make when filling in DLA applications.

1. Describing Your Child’s Best Days Instead of Their Real Days

This is probably the single biggest mistake.

Many parents write things like:

• “they can eventually do it”
• “sometimes they manage”
• “they are getting better”

But DLA is not about occasional success.

It is about:

• the support your child reasonably needs
• how often they need it
• and how much more help they require compared to another child their age

Decision makers need to understand:

• the meltdowns
• the emotional dysregulation
• the supervision
• the prompting
• the sensory struggles
• the anxiety
• the safety risks
• and the exhaustion happening behind closed doors

2. Focusing Too Much on Diagnosis Instead of Care Needs

A diagnosis alone does not automatically qualify a child for DLA.

This is something many parents do not realise.

The DWP is not awarding based purely on labels.

They are looking at:

• extra care
• extra supervision
• emotional support
• behavioural support
• safety awareness
• sleep disruption
• prompting
• and how much more support your child requires than a neurotypical child of the same age

That means detailed examples matter far more than simply writing:
“my child has autism” or “my child has ADHD.”

3. Forgetting to Explain What Happens After School

This is especially important for neurodivergent children.

Many autistic, ADHD and PDA children MASK heavily in school.

Schools may say:
“they’re fine”
or
“they cope well here.”

Meanwhile at home:

• the child completely collapses emotionally
• meltdowns happen daily
• shutdowns occur
• anxiety explodes
• aggression appears
• or the child becomes emotionally exhausted

Parents must explain the FULL picture.

Not just what professionals see during structured school hours.

4. Writing Too Briefly Because You Feel Guilty or Embarrassed

Many parents feel deeply uncomfortable describing their child’s struggles in detail.

Some worry it sounds negative.
Others feel guilt.
Some are simply emotionally exhausted.

But the DWP does not live inside your home.

They cannot see:

• the constant supervision
• repeated instructions
• emotional co-regulation
• sleep deprivation
• food struggles
• toileting difficulties
• wandering risks
• or emotional breakdowns

unless YOU explain it clearly.

5. Not Using Real-Life Examples

Real examples are incredibly important.

Instead of writing:
“My child struggles emotionally.”

Explain what that actually looks like.

For example:
“After school my child screamed for 45 minutes, hid under the dining table and required constant reassurance after becoming overwhelmed by sensory and social exhaustion.”

Specific examples help decision makers visualise your child’s actual needs.

Why So Many Parents Under-Explain Things

One of the saddest realities of DLA forms is this:

Many parents normalise extremely high levels of care because they have been providing it for years.

What feels “normal” to you may actually involve enormous additional support compared to another child the same age.

That is why many families accidentally understate:

• supervision
• emotional support
• prompting
• regulation support
• and the overall impact on daily life

Final Thoughts

Most rejected DLA claims are not rejected because parents are dishonest.

They are rejected because exhausted families struggle to fully explain the reality of caring for a neurodivergent or disabled child.

At AskEllie, we believe parents deserve:

• clearer guidance
• better explanations
• and support that actually understands family life behind closed doors

Because the wording inside these forms genuinely matters — and small differences in how needs are explained can completely change how a child is understood.

A major new law quietly passed in April 2026 — and honestly, many parents still have no idea how much it could affect their family.

The Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Act 2026 received Royal Assent on 29 April 2026, introducing some of the biggest changes to school oversight, safeguarding powers and attendance monitoring in years.

And if you are:

• home educating
• dealing with EBSA (Emotionally Based School Avoidance)
• struggling with school attendance
• fighting for SEND support
• managing reduced timetables
• or raising a child who is emotionally unable to cope with school

…this law could directly affect you.

At AskEllie, we think many families are still completely unaware of what is changing.

Why This Matters

The government says the reforms are designed to:

• improve safeguarding
• identify vulnerable children earlier
• tighten attendance systems
• increase accountability
• and stop children falling through gaps

And to be fair, many people agree that safeguarding protections do matter.

But many SEND and EBSA families are also deeply concerned about how these new powers may affect children who are already struggling emotionally, psychologically or neurologically within the education system.

Because the reality is:
many families are already exhausted,
fighting for support,
waiting for CAMHS,
waiting for assessments,
and trying to survive systems that often fail to understand neurodivergent children properly.

1. New Registers for Children Not in School

One of the biggest changes is the expansion of local authority powers around children who are not regularly attending school.

Local authorities are now expected to maintain stronger oversight regarding:

• children missing education
• children out of school long term
• and home educated children

This means families may experience:

• increased contact from local authorities
• requests for information
• more formal monitoring
• and greater scrutiny around educational provision

This is especially important for:

• home educating families
• children with EBSA
• children on reduced timetables
• children awaiting specialist placements
• and children with unmet SEND needs

Many parents fear this could increase pressure on already overwhelmed families unless the system also improves support alongside oversight.

2. School Attendance Rules Are Tightening

The law also strengthens the national focus on school attendance.

And honestly, this is one of the areas many SEND parents are most worried about.

Because while attendance matters, many neurodivergent children are not simply “refusing school.”

Many are experiencing:

• overwhelming anxiety
• sensory overload
• autistic burnout
• trauma responses
• emotional dysregulation
• masking exhaustion
• or environments that fundamentally do not meet their needs

The concern many families have is this:

If schools and local authorities increase attendance enforcement without improving SEND understanding and support, families may feel even more criminalised for children who are genuinely struggling.

This is why documentation now matters more than ever.

Parents increasingly need:

• clear evidence
• medical support where possible
• communication records
• attendance meeting notes
• professional opinions
• and records of unmet needs

before situations escalate.

3. Independent Schools Face Greater Oversight

The Act also introduces tighter regulation around independent schools.

This could affect:

• safeguarding disputes
• complaints processes
• provision concerns
• exclusions
• SEND provision disagreements
• and oversight expectations

In some situations, families may now have stronger grounds to challenge concerns around support and safeguarding.

However, because the law is still very new, many professionals are still trying to fully understand how the practical implementation will work.

Why Many SEND Families Are Concerned

One of the biggest worries parents have is that systems are becoming more powerful before support systems are improving enough to match them.

Families already describe:

• waiting years for CAMHS
• waiting years for assessments
• fighting for EHCP support
• struggling with school trauma
• and being blamed for situations caused by unmet needs

Many parents are now asking:

What happens when attendance enforcement increases before support actually arrives?

That is the conversation many families believe still needs urgent attention.

This Is Bigger Than Most Parents Realise

The Children’s Wellbeing and Schools Act 2026 is likely to shape:

• safeguarding
• attendance
• home education oversight
• SEND disputes
• and local authority involvement

for years to come.

And honestly, many parents may not realise how much it affects them until they suddenly find themselves inside attendance procedures, safeguarding discussions or local authority investigations.

What Parents Should Be Doing Now

At AskEllie, we believe families should:

• understand their child’s needs clearly
• document concerns early
• keep copies of all school communication
• seek professional evidence where possible
• understand attendance processes
• and learn their legal rights before situations escalate

Because once systems become formalised, families often realise too late that they needed stronger evidence much earlier.

Final Thoughts

This law is not simply “good” or “bad.”

Some reforms are clearly aimed at improving safeguarding and protecting vulnerable children.

But many families are also worried about how increased powers and oversight could affect SEND, EBSA and home educating communities already under enormous pressure.

And honestly, until support systems improve alongside enforcement systems, many parents fear vulnerable children may continue being misunderstood.

At AskEllie, we will continue breaking these changes down in plain English so families understand:

• what is changing
• what it means
• and how to protect themselves and their children moving forward.